Secrets, Family, Love, & Gold
by DivaLola
Summary: Mer has a secret no one knows...for their safety. She's hiding her "other life" from everyone...almost everyone. What'll happen when they discover the truth about her? Will they abandon her when she needs them the most? M/D, other couples. After S.4 Ep.11
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters from the show.

NOTE: This is my FIRST EVER fan fiction that I've written. So I would love to know what you think.

SUMMARY: Takes place in season 4 right after Derek and Meredith break up for good and he starts dating Rose, which is the episode "Lay Your Hand On Me". Meredith is acting funny….she has a secret that she doesn't want anyone to know about…a secret that puts her life and the lives of her family in danger. How long can she keep it from her friends and colleagues? (MerDer, all the other characters are in the story and there will be more pairings)

CHAPTER 1

Izzie and George had decided that it wasn't the right time for them. Yes, they truly loved each other and not just in a romantic soul mate kind of way, but as best friends that completely understood each other. Sure, things might be awkward for awhile, but their bond was too strong for them not to eventually get back to how things used to be. Until the right time came for them to be together, they both decided that it would be best if George stopped living in Izzie's room. The only problem was that Alex had moved into his old room when George decided to live in the hotel with Callie. After all, aren't you supposed to live with your wife? If he didn't live in Izzie's room, where would he go? He loved living in Meredith's house with his best friends. They had such amazing and fun times that he couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

The two of them had just finished having their "heart-to-heart" talk when Izzie jumped up as if her pants were on fire.

"I completely forgot that there's another room in this house! You know, the one that's been locked since we first moved in. I've never even seen the inside, but I'm assuming it's another bedroom. I mean after all it's upstairs. Generally, rooms that are upstairs in a house are bedrooms!" Izzie rambled, overcome with excitement that there might be a possibility that George would be back in the house like the good ole days.

"Oooo, good idea Iz! But it's locked and every time we've asked Mer about it she gets weird and changes the subject!" George replied.

Izzie rolled her eyes, "How is that any different than how she normally is! That's just Meredith being…well Meredith!"

Izzie grabbed George's arm, dragging him out of her room and down the hall. She stopped so suddenly that he ran into her, which of course caused Izzie to throw him a look. The door they now both stood in front of was the room right next to Meredith's bedroom (the master bedroom).

"What do you think is such a secret that Meredith feels she has to keep it locked up?" George wondered aloud.

A short silence ensued as they both pondered his question. That is until Izzie started clapping and jumping up and down like a child.

"I KNOW! I'm such a genius! I bet it's her sex room. You know? Where she keeps kinky S&M stuff, like costumes and toys. Who knows what else!" Izzie giddily replied.

George thought about this, "How come she didn't try and get me to go in there?" George mumbled.

Luckily Izzie was still thinking about what they'd find on the other side of the door to hear what he'd just said. "I wonder if McDreamy's ever seen the room?" Izzie pondered aloud.

There was silence, followed by an "eww" from both. George began hitting his head, trying to shake the disturbing images from his mind. They guiltily looked at each other, then simultaneously reached for the doorknob. Elbowing occurred between the two as they fought for who would open the door. Eventually George was given the honor, however he deemed the task impossible as he frustratingly shook the locked doorknob.

Thinking for a moment, he briefly scratched his head. His thoughts didn't last long as his face brightened. "Stand back, I've got an idea." George proudly said. Izzie crossed her arms and stood back like he wanted. George jogged back to the middle of the hall, stopped, then broke into a sprint in an attempt to break the door down. The door didn't budge, however he did seriously hurt his shoulder.

"What a manly man you are!" Izzie mocked.

"Since when do we have steel doors in this house?" he murmured while holding and rubbing his injured shoulder.

"It's a normal wood door George! You know like all the other doors in the house? You must just not be man enough. Maybe we should ask Alex to try. I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem," Izzie laughingly teased.

Her remark only earned her a death glare. "I'd like to see you come up with a better idea," George snapped, continuing to nurse his shoulder.

"Watch me!" she said as she disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom she shared with Alex. She came back carrying a few bobby pins, one of which she tweaked a bit while standing in front of the door. "Now stand back and observe, George."

"Right like you can open it with THAT!"

She stuck the pin into the lock, shook it and moved it around in just the right way because both heard a click as the lock budged.

"Wow. Where'd you learn that, you criminal?"

"I was raised in a trailer park George. I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve. Don't let the model in me fool you. There's a lot you don't know about me," she giggled.

His eyebrows were raised in a questioning, yet intrigued manner. At that moment, George wasn't going to lie to himself. He was kind of turned on by her delinquent side, but was also a bit frightened! "Come on hurry, open the door! I don't want Meredith to catch us."

"Don't be such a baby Bambi. She doesn't even get off work for another hour and half."

"Don't call my Bambi. My name is George!" he pouted.

"Whatever," she smiled as she reached out and grabbed the doorknob. She took a deep breath as she prepared herself for what they'd find behind the forbidden door. As the door started opening, they looked at each other, communicating with only their eyes, asking if the other was ready. After all this, they was no way they were turning back now, so they both took a step into the room. Instead of ending up inside, they found themselves fighting in the door frame to who would get inside first.

"I was the one that got the door unlocked! Plus, haven't you ever heard of ladies first?"

"Selfish! I sacrificed my body to get us in there. Speaking of which, I think I need an x-ray!"

"Then good thing you're a doctor." Just as she said this, Izzie elbowed his wounded shoulder.

"Owww!" George yelped as he unconsciously stepped back to grab his shoulder. This allowed Izzie access to the dark room.

"Ha!" she yelled in triumph as she did what looked to be some sort of happy dance. Something a football player might refer to as his "touchdown dance".

"Not cool," George whimpered. However, he couldn't stay mad at Izzie while watching her do her silly dance. It seemed like maybe it wouldn't take them as long as they originally thought to get back to their old bantering ways.

"Come on, let's see what kind of secret kinky things our dark and twisty Meredith hides in here," Izzie said as she grabbed his arm and pulled him through the door.

He quickly pulled out of her grasp and grabbed his arm. "Seriously? Ow, Izzie! Remember…x-ray, could be broken!"

"George, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. I'm just excited!" she apologized.

"Fine let's do this. Let's look for some kind of light. I mean really, who keeps rooms these dark? It's a hazard."

They both stumbled around, feeling the walls for a light switch of some kind.

"Ah ha! Found it!" George excitedly hollered in triumph.

As the room was showered in light, the contents of the top secret room were revealed.

"What the…?" is all both could say.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**Previously….**

Summary of Chapter 1: Izzie and George worked on a way to get into the locked room upstairs. The one next to Meredith's bedroom. No one had ever been allowed in there, but George needed a place to stay.

_As the room was showered in light, the contents of the top secret room were revealed._

"_What the…?" is all both could say._

George and Izzie slowly wandered the room, making sure to not miss anything.

"Well I was right, it is a bedroom, "Izzie said.

"Yeah, but who's?" George questioned.

"I don't know, maybe it was Meredith's room as a kid."

"Remember when we first moved in Iz? She said that your room had been hers growing up. Plus, everything looks new. Nothing looks 20 years old. It's not even dusty."

"I don't know what to tell you George. Maybe Meredith cleans the room when she's here alone."

"Yeah because that's not weird," he replied.

Izzie didn't say anything. She was too engrossed in the framed photos throughout the room. "George, check this out!"

George hurried over to see what Izzie was talking about. She handed him a framed photo. "Well that's definitely not Meredith. Who are these people?"

The picture was of two girls. One of which was a baby, probably a year old or around there. She was sitting on the other girl's lap. The older one looked maybe 19 or 20, but he was just guessing. Neither one was Meredith, however both girls looked alike. They had blue eyes and darker hair than Meredith's.

"I don't know George, but this is really strange."

As they carefully walked around the large room they took note of their surroundings. This bedroom was bigger than each of their rooms, including the master bedroom. The entire room screamed "girl" and looked very much like a little princess' room. There was no wall paper, instead the walls were painted a subtle shade of pink and enhanced by white molding. The item that first caught both their eyes was a twin bed, a very girly twin bed. It was a four poster canopy, white iron bed. There was an intricate swirl design made with the white iron at the foot of the bed. The head of the bed looked similar, but it was taller. On top of each of the four posters was white iron that looped up, down, and up again (think of a wave). The four iron "waves" coming from each corner of the bed connected above the bed in the middle. This served as the top of the canopy. On the head of the bed and sides, there was sheer white material with small flowers and branches embroidered on it. It could be pulled along the iron to enclose the sides of the bed for privacy. White wood night tables were on each side of the bed. A white iron lamp with clear crystals hanging from the pink lamp shade sat on one table. A book and a picture of the little girl sat on the other one.

The actual bedding was adorable. The bed cover was white with little pink embroidered polka dots. The sides of the cover had layered ruffles with pink scalloped edges sweeping the floor. It was absolutely gorgeous. Matching curtains hung on the room's two windows. The sheets on the bed were white with little dancing fairies holding wands. They had pink dresses and yellow wings. Pillows of all different sizes and shapes were arranged neatly on the bed. There were three bigger pillows in the back. One had white ruffles, one with pink ruffles; the third, matching the pink polka dotted bed cover. Next were the pillows one sleeps on; they matched the sheets. Three small squared pillows in front of all the others were the last of them. Two were smaller versions of the large white and pink ruffled pillows. The most beautiful pillow in Izzie's opinion was the third small square one; it was covered in all different shades of pink beads. Each of the four corners of the pillow had beaded tassels hanging down. It was beautiful. Perfectly laid at the foot of the bed was the softest pink throw that either one of them had ever felt. If it wasn't for the possibility Meredith would find out, Izzie briefly thought about "borrowing" it. No one lived in the room, so she wouldn't be hurting anyone. Izzie couldn't help but be jealous that she never had anything close to this as a child or as an adult.

In one of the corners of the room they spotted what looked to be a fake pink suede bean bag chair. Hanging from the ceiling above the bean bag was a sheer white circular net with the same material hanging down and surrounding the bean bag. Izzie was pretty sure it was called a princess net. Once Izzie saw the chair, she ran over and plopped down in it. "Wow is this thing soft and comfortable. I might stay here forever," she thought. It was then that she noticed white embroidered letters on it. M-I-L-E-Y.

"I know whose room this is!" shouted Izzie.

"Whose?"

"Miley's"

"Who is Miley?"

"Well obviously one of the girls in the photo George. I'm assuming it's the younger one since there are other photos of her in here."

"You should be a detective!" George mocked.

Against one of the walls was a white bookcase that held books, dolls, stuffed animals, figurines, and some of the framed photos they'd already discussed. Next to the bookcase was a white wooden chest filled with Barbie's, toys, puzzles, games, markers, crayons, etc. There was a large, circular, solid pink (matching the bedding) throw rug with a child's size white wood table and four chairs. A beautiful ceramic tea set was neatly arranged on the table ready for a tea party. A beautiful doll sat in each of two chairs.

Against the final wall sat a beautiful white wood armoire and next to it a closet. Izzie peaked inside, completely baffled at what she saw. "George look at this!"

Once he reached the closet, a look of confusion spread over his face. Eyebrows furrowed, he rambled, "Huh. Why are there only two child's dresses, a few pairs of teeny "elf" shoes, and a TON of hangers in here? I mean the rest of the room is filled with toys, games, and books. So, why are there basically no clothes? A wardrobe seems to be the only thing missing from here, well except a child. I mean if I was a kid with all this," he motioned with his hands, "I'd take the toys. Screw the clothes."

"This just keeps getting weirder."

White wood shelves of all lengths were scattered on all four walls. Pictures, fairy figurines, and knick knacks were neatly placed on them. One of the framed pictures was of Meredith and the other two girls having a tea party. This photo appeared to be more recent than the first one they looked at. The youngest, whom they assumed was Miley, looked to be about 3 years old; the "Jane Doe" appeared to be in her early twenties.

"Detective Izzie" had another idea. Grabbing the frame, she carefully removed the photo and flipped it over. "Look George there's a date. Kinda messy, definitely doctor handwriting. Can you tell what it says?"

Eyes squinted and nose crinkled, he tried to make out the date. "I'm pretty sure it says April 14, 2007."

"That was only about a year ago."

He put the frame and photo back together, placed it in its spot on the shelf and continued snooping.

Looking up, he noticed five small delicate fairies sporadically hanging from the ceiling. Each one was wearing a different color dress and in a different position. A small white steel chandelier draped with pink and clear crystals hung from the center of the ceiling.

It was the most inviting and stunning bedroom either had seen. Especially for a child. Everything was in its place. It was the cleanest kid's bedroom either had seen. Perfect was an understatement it was so amazing. Miley was obviously very loved.

"I never had a room like this. I mean not even remotely close to it," Izzie pouted.

"Yeah, me neither. Of course, I wouldn't have wanted a pink and white room. More manly because, well I'm a man," George babbled.

"I know what you mean George," she laughed. "It's a girl's dream to have a room this awesome!"

"Are you jealous of a three year old?" George smirked.

"No! Of course not. That would be ridiculous," Izzie lied.

All of a sudden they heard a car pulling into the driveway. Their eyes widened as both realized Meredith was home. She would be so angry if she knew they'd broken into the room. Panicked, they started scurrying about making sure everything was exactly how it had been when they entered. Satisfied, they ran out the door and headed to the stairs.

"Did you lock the door, you crook?" George questioned.

"Fuck. I forgot!" Izzie said running back with the altered bobby pin and locking the door. Once she was sure it was locked, they ran downstairs and jumped on the couch seconds before Meredith walked in.

"Hey guys? What's up?" Meredith asked.

Out of breath from running and sitting abnormally straight while pretending to read an upside down magazine, both started talking over the other.

"You know? Nothing much. Just sitting here looking through this magazine together," Izzie lied.

"Just bored. We haven't been doing anything we weren't supposed to do," George rambled at the same time. "You look nice today. Is that a new outfit?" he nervously asked after being elbowed by Izzie. She would win the gold medal in elbowing if it was an Olympic sport, George thought.

"Um, what's going on you two? Have you been drinking? Did you have sex again? Or did you break something? You're being creepy. Seriously, what's wrong with you two?" Meredith suspiciously questioned.

"Nothing. We didn't do anything. We were just about to go upstairs and, um do something. Uh…right George?" Izzie nervously said standing up.

"Yeah exactly upstairs. We have something to do," he followed with the magazine.

"Whatever you say, but if you're going to continue with that magazine, you might want to read it right side up," Meredith snickered. She knew they were up to something; she might as well make them more nervous if they weren't going to tell her what was up.

"Oh right. We knew that. It's just a game we play sometimes. You know, trying to read upside down?" George quickly stuttered as they were on the last few stairs.

"We'll be in my room, see you later"

"Ok, you weirdos," Meredith muttered. "Oh by the way, I've gotta go somewhere in a bit and more than likely, I won't be home till late," she yelled from downstairs, hoping she caught them before they were out of earshot.

"Where you going?"

"Just out George. I have something I've got to do."

"You meeting a guy? McDreamy?" Izzie questioned.

"No. We broke up a couple weeks ago. Remember? Plus he's dating Rose. Does it really matter where I'll be?" Meredith snapped.

"Ok then, none of our business. See you later then," Izzie said, kind of hurt that Meredith didn't trust them enough to say what she would be doing. Everyone knew she didn't trust Derek, but what was she doing that she couldn't tell them?

Meredith was alone downstairs. Knowing George and Izzie were upstairs, she went to the kitchen and made herself dinner in the blender. Her special shake. Sitting at the table drinking it, she sighed, so tired already of living two lives. She had gotten so used to her normal busy life as a surgeon the last 3 years, that she was having a hard time adjusting to her old way of living. She was scared. Of course she would never admit it to anyone, but how could she not be terrified after what had occurred 4 years ago. Meredith knew it was a possibility that something similar could happen again. Either to her or someone she loved. Being Meredith Grey, resident at Seattle Grace Hospital, as long as possible was everyone's best bet at safety.

Finishing her shake, she ran to the car, made sure she had what she needed, and headed out to her other life.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters.

**Previously… **George and Izzie discovered what was in the locked room: it was a young girl's bedroom. "Her" bedroom was unbelievably beautiful and somewhat over the top. She had everything she could possibly want or need, and more. There were photos throughout the room, many of a 3 year old named Miley. Meredith was going out somewhere at night, wouldn't tell anyone where, and no one had any idea what she was up to.

_Meredith was alone downstairs. Knowing George and Izzie were upstairs, she went to the kitchen and made herself dinner in the blender. Her special shake. Sitting at the table drinking it, she sighed, already so tired of living two lives. She had gotten so used to her normal, busy life as a surgeon the last 3 years, that she was having a hard time adjusting to her old way of living. She was scared. Of course she would never admit it to anyone, but how could she not be terrified after what had occurred 4 years ago. Meredith knew it was a possibility that something similar could happen again. Either to her or someone she loved. Being Meredith Grey, resident at Seattle Grace Hospital, as long as possible was everyone's best bet at safety._

_Finishing her shake, she ran to the car, made sure she had what she needed, and headed out to her "other life"._

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

Meredith didn't get much sleep that night. She had arrived home at midnight only to have to go back to her "other life" at 3 a.m.., and still somehow not be late for her 12 hour shift at the hospital at 6 a.m. She didn't know how much longer she could handle this constant exhaustion from the lack of sleep and continuous energy and precision needed for her "other life". Stumbling out of her car, sighing as she rubbed her eyes, she continued to drink her special homemade shake: breakfast. As Meredith entered the lobby of Seattle Grace, she spotted Derek and Rose nearing the elevator hand in hand. There was no way she was going to ride the elevator with the two of them, so she opted for the stairs. Halfway up, dizziness crept up on her. "Thank God no one's around. That's all I need, something else the staff can whisper about behind my back," she whispered to herself as she leaned against the wall. "My body just needs to get used to this eating schedule again. I mean I did it for nearly 20 years, I can do it for another 4 months," she thought while finishing her shake. Once the dizziness passed she headed for the resident locker room. Everyone stared at her as she entered; her friends making worried eye contact with each other.

"You look like crap. Who was it last night? Shepard?" Alex asked.

"Fuck off," Meredith said, annoyed.

As her friends and fellow residents changed by the lockers, Meredith decided it would be better privately change in the restroom.

As soon as she was out of sight, the whispering began.

"Dude what's with her?" Alex questioned.

"She still wasn't home from her "mystery outing" when I went to bed last night," Izzie stated.

"I heard her come home around midnight and she was gone before we all left. Where do you think she goes? It's not the first time she's done something like that. In fact, it's been happening a lot for the past month or so," added George.

"She looks awful! Did you guys notice the bags under her eyes? Not to mention how pale she is," Izzie asked full of concern.

"I didn't think she could get any paler," joked Alex causing Izzie to roll her eyes.

"She's like a ghost," commented George.

"You can tell she's lost some weight, which is the last thing she needs. If anything she needs to put on some pounds," Izzie declared.

"Let's make sure she eats a sandwich," said George.

"Leave her alone! We all know she and McDreamy broke up and right away he starts love wrestling with NURSE Rose. She's dark and twisty Meredith right now, so of course she's not gonna look like a fucking model. Just back off," Christina snapped.

Meredith could hear them whispering about her, but had no idea what they were saying. She expected it from the staff, but not her friends. She finished changing quickly, but instead of joining them by the lockers, she just sat there on the toilet lid, thinking.

She knew the announcement would be made in a few weeks. The question was, were her enemies going to find out before that? So, everyday she had to be prepared in case the "shit hit the fan", so to speak. "Be prepared for anything Mer. You know they're going to come," she whispered to herself before exiting the stall.

"Since when do you change alone in the bathroom instead of out here?" Christina questioned just as she joined them.

Shrugging, Meredith headed towards the door stopping near George. "What are doing in here? Last time I checked you were still an INTERN, which means you shouldn't be in the RESIDENT'S locker room," emphasizing the word intern.

"I just stopped by to say hi," George defended as he questioningly looked at the others.

"Rounds are soon. Don't be late," was Meredith's only response as she walked out of the locker room to get ready to round.

Walking down the hall, she berated herself for attacking George. She was just stressed out; she didn't mean it. "Why did I do that? Who cares if he's in the locker room?" she whispered rubbing her forehead and eyes with her hand.

* * *

Meredith and her interns were almost through with rounds as they entered the room of Jacob Deemer. Mr. Deemer had been in an automobile accident. His brain was slowly bleeding and he had horrible deep cuts on his face needing the assistance of both Dr. Shepard and Dr. Sloan. Both doctors were already in the private room along with Jacob's wife and four kids as Meredith and her interns entered. Meredith wasn't looking forward to being in the same room as Derek, but it was her job. There wasn't anything she could do about it. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, as much as she wanted to.

Derek Shepard looked towards the door as the love of his life entered. Shocked by what he saw, he couldn't help but stare. She looked awful, so pale and thin. "What is going on? I hope this has nothing to do with me," he thought.

Meredith knew he was staring without even looking. She could feel his eyes locked on her, but she didn't have it in her to meet them. Instead, she looked up at Dr. Mark Sloan, meeting his knowing and tentative smile. "At least I'm not lying to everyone," she thought as she half heartedly returned the smile.

As Derek filled Jacob and his wife in on the surgery he was to have that day, his four kids, two girls and two boys, played rough and very loudly. The boys had just come from some sort of baseball game or practice because they were dressed in uniform and carried their bats. Still extremely wound up, one boy started swinging his bat around. It took only one out of control swing for the kid to accidentally smack Meredith in her left knee.

Letting out a cry, she grabbed her knee, instantly falling to the ground. Derek tried rushing over, but Mark threw a hand out stopping him. "I've got it."

"What did I tell you about playing with your bat inside Jesse? Honey, apologize to the nice doctor," Mrs. Janet Deemer sternly said.

"Sorry doctor," the boy, Jesse, said from his hiding place behind his mother's legs.

"It's….um….ok," Meredith said, breathing heavily to try and mask the pain she was in as she stared at Mark for help.

George was shocked at how fast Meredith went down. In fact, he thought it strange. Even though she had been a real bitch to him earlier, he knelt down to try and help her. Mark reached her quickly. "Dr. O'Malley I'll handle this. Go back to your fellow interns."

George thought it was definitely out of the ordinary that Dr. Sloan was so bent on being the one to help her. Maybe that's where she had been lately. With Sloan. "Oh my God!" George thought, just as Dr. Sloan was trying to help Meredith stand. She whimpered in pain. Mark knew he had to get her to the Chief as fast as possible, so he scooped her up in his arms.

Derek wanted nothing more than to be Mark at that very instant, holding the woman he would always love. To try and help in some way, he took it upon himself to finish Meredith's rounds with her interns.

* * *

"You ok?" Mark whispered to her.

"Of course he couldn't hit my right leg. It HAD to be the left!" she whispered back doing everything she could to not cry.

"Maybe you should let Derek take a look at it."

She raised her voice, "NO! He can't know anything!"

"Everyone's going to find out eventually Meredith. Don't you think it would be better if it came from you?"

"No, if I'm lucky I won't be here when they find out. Or maybe I'll luck out and no one will ever find out. Maybe by some miracle I'll always be Dr. Meredith Grey to them."

"You know as well as me, that the day is coming given your appearance.

"What do you mean 'Given my appearance?'" she asked.

"Well look at you. You've lost weight and you're exhausted. For you, that can mean only one thing. Speaking of which, what made you decide to go back?"

A distant, solemn look overcame her face, "I have to. For her."

By this time they were at the chief's office. Since Sloan's hands were full she knocked on the door. "Come in," the chief bellowed.

The moment Dr. Webber saw Meredith being carried, he panicked. He hoped a day like this would never come. "What the hell happened?"

Careful not to cause any more damage to her knee, Mark slowly placed her on the couch.

After explaining what had happened, Mark wished her well and left, knowing that he would have to keep Derek from trying to go to her.

* * *

Meredith pulled up the leg of her scrubs so he could examine her left knee better. He stared down at the bandage and tape that she revealed. It started above her knee and disappeared into her left shoe. "Was your leg already bothering you?" he asked as he slowly began removing the bandage to get a better look at her knee.

"No, I just want to be prepared," she replied.

Her statement stopped him in his tracks. He took a deep breath and finished examining her injury. "I want you to get an MRI."

"I'm fine. Plus an MRI's a big magnet; therefore, I'd have to get a CAT SCAN."

Exasperated, he rubbed his head. "That's what I meant. I know you can't have an MRI," he said eyeing her knowingly. "But I've got to tell you, I think it's a mistake not to get the scan Meredith."

"Trust me I've had worse things happen. I don't want to take the chance of anyone seeing the results."

"You mean you don't want Dr. Shepard to see it?"

Meredith was frustrated. "What's up with everyone assuming that every action I make lately has to do with Derek? I don't care about him. He's dating Rose!" she yelled.

"Well I'll give you a shot of pain medicine then, but you have to go home…and stay there for the day," He tried to negotiate.

"Yeah sure, whatever. I promise," she murmured.

He left her alone in his office for a few minutes to get the fentanyl. "Seriously? Seriously? Of all the times this could happen, it had to be now. No, it couldn't be in four months!" Meredith ranted to herself just as he came back.

He injected the fentanyl in her arm, "So I see you've made your decision?"

"Yes, I have to do it. Contrary to yours and Dr. Sloan's beliefs, I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing it for her,"

"I understand, but it's only going to be more dangerous for her."

"Only for a few months. Then everyone will be safe," she argued. "I can protect her," she added.

"But will you be safe?" he questioned.

"I can take care of myself. Plus I won't be alone; I'll have help."

Sitting down on the other side of the couch, the chief took on a serious tone in his voice "Since you've decided to go through with it, you're going to have to sign the contract we talked about."

Defeated, she sighed. "I know. Where is it? I'll do it now."

The chief stood up, walked to his desk drawer, and pulled out the contract he himself had written and typed. He paused on the way back, looking at her with eyes full of worry, but something else was there too. Pride. He was proud of her, but also scared. She couldn't bear to tell him that she too was terrified.

"I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. If you want I'll help you put an end to this," he told her.

"I know Richard. I wouldn't even be able to go back if it wasn't for you. However, I have to finish this on my own." He nodded with understanding. "But, I am sure I'll be needing your help for certain things," she hinted while looking at her left leg.

He handed Meredith the papers. "Do they say what we previously discussed?" she asked skimming them.

"Yes. However, the question is…are you going to go back on your word and violate the contract? I devised it with only your safety in mind. It took you years to get to this point, I don't want to see you backtrack."

"Of course. I'll stick to it," she lied knowing she couldn't win if she did. She quickly scribbled her name and handed it back. He too signed the agreement between the two of them.

"Alright. Do you need help getting to your car?"

"No. I don't want to draw anymore attention to myself," she said.

Slowly putting weight on her injury, she headed for the door where Richard stood. "Here's your new prescription. Only take it when necessary," he said, handing her the small paper.

"I know. I am a doctor after all," she smiled. "Thank you. For everything the past few years," she whispered to him as they hugged.

"No problem. You're like the daughter I never had. Just make sure you come to me if you have a problem," he said when she pulled away.

"Yeah, I will."

He sadly watched her as she limped slightly down the hall. "She's too young to have to deal with this. Dammit Ellis, how could you put her in this position?" he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I'm testing out a new title for the story. "If You Only Knew" didn't say all I wanted it to. Sorry to be confusing! Also, I wanted to let you know a few things that I didn't mention in the previous chapters, in terms of the time frame. In this story, I had Derek and Meredith breaking up the first week of April. It's still April when Derek immediately begins to date Rose. Chapter 1 is a month later, so sometime within the first 2 weeks of May. Does that make sense? From now on I will try and include the month in the story or some sort of way to let you guys know what itme of year it is. Also, thank you guys so much for the positive feedback you've put in your reviews! They've really been wonderful to read. They've helped settle my apprehention and nervousness about posting the story, since it is my very first one! Anyway, you guys ROCK! Please keep it up! Also, feel free to let me know if you don't understand something and I'll fix it! Thanks again, and I hope the remainder of your weekend is FABULOUS!

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**Summary (Ch.3): **Meredith went to work looking absolutely horrible. She was pale and thinner than she normally was. Her friends were extremely worried about her. While making rounds with her interns, a patient's young son accidentally hit her in the left knee with a baseball bat, causing her to fall. Dr. Mark Sloan took her to the chief's office where he examined her injury. It was discovered that whatever her secret "other life" was, both the Chief (Dr. Richard Webber) and Mark know about it. When Richard went to look over her knee, he found her leg already bandaged. (So, she obviously had a previous injury.) When asked if her leg had already been bothering her before the bat incident, she simply said, "No, I just want to be prepared." He made her sign an agreement they had previously discussed.

**Previously… **

"_Alright. Do you need help getting to your car?"_

"_No. I don't want to draw anymore attention to myself," she said._

_Slowly putting weight on her injury, she headed for the door where Richard stood. "Here's your new prescription. Only take it when necessary," he said, handing her the small paper._

"_I know. I am a doctor after all," she smiled. "Thank you. For everything the past few years," she whispered to him as they hugged. _

"_No problem. You're like the daughter I never had. Just make sure you come to me if you have a problem," he said when she pulled away._

"_Yeah, I will."_

_He sadly watched her as she limped slightly down the hall. "She's too young to have to deal with this. Dammit Ellis, how could you put her in this position?" he thought._

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**CHAPTER 4**

The incident at work had happened a week ago. Everyone constantly bugged her about it; wondering if she was alright. It seemed Derek always had an eye on her at the hospital, which Meredith only found irritating and unnerving. After all, they weren't together anymore; he was with Rose. She wasn't happy about it, but it was what it was. In fact, it was probably better that they weren't together right now because it would have made her life even more difficult. If they were still dating, he would've figured everything out, which was the last thing she wanted.

She had gotten home late again last night from her "other life" to find Izzie waiting up for her, like a worried mother. She pressed Meredith about where she was and if everything was ok. Meredith lied to her; she told Izzie she had been staring at the fairy boats, thinking. Izzie knew she was lying, but she couldn't force Meredith to open up to her. Since when didn't she trust her friends?

Meredith felt like she had been at the hospital forever, in reality it had only been 4 hours. She couldn't remember the last time she was this exhausted. As she was standing, filling out charts at the nurse's station, Derek walked up.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Meredith replied.

"How's the knee?"

"It's fine! I don't know what the big deal is. It happened a week ago. It was an accident. No big deal. Why does everyone care so much?" she ranted.

"We care because we're worried; and I care because I care about you. When you fell to the ground, you looked like you were gonna be sick. What's the problem?"

Meredith looked right into his gorgeous blue eyes and almost melted. "I care about you too," she thought to herself. "What are you thinking Meredith? No, push him away. You can't trust him. He's only going to betray you in the end," her subconscious argued.

"The problem is that you shouldn't care. You're with Rose. I don't want you to care," she snapped.

She felt awful as his face screamed "hurt". She had done that; she'd put that hurt there. Not knowing what to do or say, she gathered her charts and turned to walk away. But before she could get anywhere, he grabbed her arm. "Are you sure you're ok, Mer? I mean, you look absolutely exhausted. What's going on with you?" he asked as the hurt from his eyes disappeared, leaving only concern.

"When people say you look exhausted, they're trying to be nice. Really they just mean you look like shit. So thanks!" she seethed. Meredith tried to free herself from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge.

"That's not what I meant. You look beautiful no matter what. I'm just worried. You've lost weight and I never see you eating. Please, what's wrong?"

"Look, Dr. Shepard, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. But if there was I wouldn't tell you, it isn't any of your business anymore. Rose is your girlfriend now, so worry about her. Just leave me alone!"

Defeated, he let go of her arm. "Fine Meredith, but just know that when you decide to fill me in. I'm here."

She sighed loudly as she stalked away.

Marc walked up to him, having seen the entire interaction between the two. "You've got to let her go for now. She's right, leave her alone. You're only making things worse for her. Trust me," Mark advised.

Derek's head turned to look at him so fast, that a pain shot from his neck to the top of his head. "What do you know? Is she ok? Is it because of me? What? What is it?" he interrogated.

Shaking his head, he replied, "Just please trust me right now and let her go." Mark walked away, heading towards his next surgery.

Derek just watched him, feeling so helpless. "When does Mark ever give serious advice like that? Mark knows something. I have to get to the bottom of this," he thought, just as his pager went off. "Well, I'll figure it out later," he whispered and walked away.

* * *

The day had been never ending. Instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria like she used to do, Meredith headed to her "other life" for an hour. She had finished the rest of her shift without being bothered by too many people. Now here she was at home at 11 pm after she spent four hours at her "other life". This would be her schedule until either the announcement was made and she took her leave of absence or she was exposed and everyone figured it out.

She sat in the living room drinking her dinner (another one of her special shakes) and watching television. On her lap lay a small photo album. Meredith stared at each photo for minutes at a time, reminiscing. Every couple minutes she would flip to the next photo. This went on for approximately 15 minutes when she was interrupted by Izzie and George.

"Whatcha doin?" Izzie asked.

"Nothing much, just watching some TV before I head upstairs. I'm beat," Meredith replied.

She flipped to the next photo, which just so happened to be a picture of the little girl that George and Izzie had seen in the photos inside the locked room. Izzie quickly took the album from her. "Who is this? She's adorable!" Izzie questioned, fishing for information about the mysterious little girl.

Meredith snatched the album back and promptly closed it. "It's no one. She's….well she's a relative," she nervously stumbled.

Meredith began to stand up. "Who's kid? How are you related?" George asked.

"Um, it doesn't matter. I rarely see her," she sadly said. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night!" Meredith headed for the stairs, but stopped when she heard Izzie's voice.

"Um, Meredith?" Izzie said.

"Yeah?"

"George and I wanted to talk to you about something," she said, voice shaking a bit out of nervousness.

"Shoot," was Meredith's only response.

"Well George and I…we've decided to wait to be together. Um…it's just, well, not the time. I mean I…" Izzie rambled.

"Izzie," George interrupted her. Meredith didn't care about their relationship, or lack of one, right now. She was tired and just wanted to sleep.

Izzie continued, "Right, sorry. Anyway, we decided that George should move out of my room, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go since Alex now lives in his old room. So, we were hoping that George could move into that room next to yours. You know? The one that's locked? What do you say? Is that cool?"

Meredith froze. That room was occupied, well it used to be. And it would be again. That is, if everything went according to her plan. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't give them the real reason George couldn't live there. "It's full of stuff. I've kind of been using it as storage. The stuff won't fit anywhere else," she said. She wasn't really lying per say; the room really was full of stuff, but it would fit in the attic.

"Well, the attic isn't completely full. Couldn't we put the stuff up there?" she asked.

Meredith needed time to think of a good reason that George couldn't move into that room. She was panicked. "Well I mean there's a LOT of stuff. I'm really exhausted right now, so is it alright if I have some time to think about it?"

"Oh yeah totally," Izzie said.

The air was thick with tension. "Yeah definitely. I wasn't going to move in there tonight!" George tried to joke.

"Good night then," she told them uneasily.

"Night!"

"Good night, sleep well!" George yelled to her.

Once she had disappeared into her room, George and Izzie began whispering. "Well that was awkward!" said George.

"Tell me about it. Why did she lie about it being full of stuff that wouldn't fit in the attic? And when I asked her about the photo? What was that? She looked like she was gonna puke!" Izzie said to him.

"Something weird is definitely going on, " said George, biting his top lip.

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**PLEASE REVIEW & LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!**

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	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to post this chapter. My mom has been in town and it's been difficult finding the time to sit down and write without being bothered. I also have been ill and had to undergo a medical procedure. There really aren't any excuses for my late posting, but I assure you that there won't be such long periods of no updates. I hope you enjoy this chapter. You will find out what her "other life" is in the next chapter (Ch.6).

Thanks for all the reviews and kind words you all have posted. I hope they continue. It helps me figure out what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Let me know if you need clarification on anything, and I'll be more than happy to explain it to you. Also, let me know if I'm not making sense in my writing because I'll definitely fix it. I want things to make sense! Thanks again and hope you like!

** IMPORTANT A.N.:** The recap is a lot longer this time because it's been so long since I've updated. I wanted to refresh your memory. I thought if I jumped right into the chapter, it could confuse people a bit if they couldn't remember what all had happened in Chapter 4. A few times, you will see **… **(3 dots) after a sentence or paragraph is finished, then it will skip a line and have **…** (3 more dots) . This shows that I skipped some parts in between those those 2 paragraphs or sentences. This only happens when you see the 3 dots, so don't get confused.

** IMPORTANT A.N.:** Also, the recap of Ch. 4 (after it says "previously") is in italics. Once chapter 5 begins, you will see certain quotes in Italics. These are to show you they are the characters thoughts; they are thinking in their head. I didn't do this in the previous chapters, but I am going to from now on.

Thanks, xo Laura xo

**Summary (Ch.4):**

Derek tells Meredith how worried he is about her. This causes her to get mad and push him further away. Mark tells Derek to back off and give her space, leading Derek to believe Mark knows what's going on with Meredith. Later that night, Meredith arrives home 1st and is flipping through a photo album. Izzie and George get home and they see Meredith looking at a picture of the same little girl they saw in photos in the locked room. They ask Meredith about her and she acts weird. They also ask her if George can move into the locked room. Meredith lies to them and asks if she can give them an answer the next day.

**Previously…in Chapter 4...**

_"How's the knee?"_

_"It's fine! I don't know what the big deal is. It happened a week ago. It was an accident. No big deal. Why does everyone care so much?" she ranted._

_"We care because we're worried; and I care because I care about you. When you fell to the ground, you looked like you were gonna be sick. What's the problem?"_

_Meredith looked right into his gorgeous blue eyes and almost melted. "I care about you too," she thought to herself. "What are you thinking Meredith? No, push him away. You can't trust him. He's only going to betray you in the end," her subconscious argued._

_"The problem is that you shouldn't care. You're with Rose. I don't want you to care," she snapped._

_She felt awful as his face showed his hurt. She had done that. Not knowing what to do or say, she gathered her charts and turned to walk away. But before she could get anywhere, he grabbed her arm. "Are you sure you're ok, Mer? I mean, you look absolutely exhausted. What's going on with you?" he asked as the hurt from his eyes disappeared, leaving only concern._

_"When people say you look exhausted, they're trying to be nice. Really they just mean you look like shit. So thanks!" she seethed. Meredith tried to free herself from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge._

_"That's not what I meant. You look beautiful no matter what. I'm just worried. You've lost weight and I never see you eating. Please, what's wrong?"_

_"Look, Dr. Shepard, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. But if there was I wouldn't tell you, it isn't any of your business anymore. Rose is your girlfriend now, so worry about her. Just leave me alone!"_

_Defeated, he let go of her arm. "Fine Meredith, but just know that when you decide to fill me in. I'm here."…_

…_Mark walked up to him, having seen the entire interaction between the two. "You've got to let her go for now. She's right, leave her alone. You're only making things worse for her. Trust me," Mark advised._

_Derek's head turned to look at him so fast, that a pain shot from his neck to the top of his head. "What do you know? Is she ok? Is it because of me? What? What is it?" he interrogated._

_Shaking his head, he replied, "Just please trust me right now and let her go." Mark walked away, heading towards his next surgery._

_Derek just watched him, feeling so helpless. "When does Mark ever give serious advice like that? Mark knows something. I have to get to the bottom of this," he thought, just as his pager went off. "Well, I'll figure it out later," he whispered and walked away._

_She sat in the living room drinking her dinner (another one of her special shakes) and watching television. On her lap lay a small photo album. Meredith stared at each photo for minutes at a time, reminiscing. Every couple minutes she would flip to the next photo. This went on for approximately 15 minutes when she was interrupted by Izzie and George._

_"Whatcha doin?" Izzie asked._

_"Nothing much, just watching some TV before I head upstairs. I'm beat," Meredith replied._

_She flipped to the next photo, which just so happened to be a picture of the little girl that George and Izzie had seen in the photos inside the locked room. Izzie quickly took the album from her. "Who is this? She's adorable!" Izzie questioned, fishing for information about the mysterious little girl._

_Meredith snatched the album back and promptly closed it. "It's no one. She's…well she's a relative," she nervously stumbled._

_Meredith began to stand up. "Who's kid? How are you related?" George asked._

_"Um, it doesn't matter. I rarely see her," she sadly said. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night!" Meredith headed for the stairs, but stopped when she heard Izzie's voice…._

…_Izzie continued, "Right, sorry. Anyway, we decided that George should move out of my room, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go since Alex now lives in his old room. So, we were hoping that George could move into that room next to yours. You know? The one that's locked? What do you say? Is that cool?"_

_Meredith froze. That room was occupied, well it used to be. And it would be again. That is, if everything went according to her plan. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't give them the real reason George couldn't live there. "It's full of stuff. I've kind of been using it as storage. The stuff won't fit anywhere else," she said. She wasn't really lying per say; the room really was full of stuff, but it would fit in the attic._

_"Well, the attic isn't completely full. Couldn't we put the stuff up there?" she asked._

_Meredith needed time to think of a good reason that George couldn't move into that room. She was panicked. "Well I mean there's a LOT of stuff. I'm really exhausted right now, so is it alright if I have some time to think about it?" …_

…_"Tell me about it. Why did she lie about it being full of stuff that wouldn't fit in the attic? And when I asked her about the photo? What was that? She looked like she was gonna puke!" Izzie said to him._

_"Something weird is definitely going on," said George, biting his top lip._

**CHAPTER 5: **takes place on May 17, 2008

Although Meredith couldn't have been more bushed (mentally, physically, and emotionally), she tossed and turned all night. _"What am I gonna say to George? I've already hurt him so much in the past, not to mention he's had a rough time since he lost his father and split with Callie. I can't just say no flat out. I've got to figure out the perfect excuse. But what is it? 'Sorry guys, but it seems that you know absolutely NOTHING about me and my life. You see I'm the biggest liar you've ever met. Oh don't forget, I'm so fucking dumb for what I'm about to try. And if I'm successful, that room won't be empty any longer.' Ughhh. Like they would accept that without question!"_ Frustrated with not only her predicament, her many predicaments, but herself, Meredith's palm flew to her head in an exasperated manner. _"I should be asleep right now. All I need is to royally screw up with a patient or kill one. That would be bad. Seriously. So bad. In fact, I'm surprised something like that hasn't happened to me lately. Everything else bad has!"_ Letting out a gigantic, somewhat angry sigh, she violently flipped to her other side. Maybe she'd be more comfortable sleeping like this. As her mind continued flying a million miles an hour, she finally passed out from exhaustion.

At this very moment in time, a small part of Meredith wished she'd drowned during the ferry accident. She had gotten maybe three hours of sleep TOTAL the entire night. Consistently waking up every 30 minutes or so was not her idea of a good nights sleep. When her alarm sounded at 2:40 am telling her it was time to go to her "other life" before work, she had a feeling. A feeling so strong that she called in sick to her "other life", stayed in bed, and tried to get another two hours of sleep before she had to be at work. Still, now at 5am, that feeling hadn't disappeared, but had only grown stronger and more intense. It was a feeling similar to the one she had woken up with the morning of the code black at Seattle Grace. Except, that feeling had been more of death waiting to claim her. It was as if she could see the Grim Reaper following her around that day, just waiting to take her. But this morning's feeling…had nothing to do with death. This one was more of a "oh crap, the devil's going to fuck with me today, make my life a living hell" kind of feeling. When some people think of the Devil, yes death certainly comes to mind. But this was as if she KNEW that today was going to be one of the worst days of her life, which spoke volumes to her because she thought that she had already experienced the worst day of her life…a few times now. _"How could I have a worse day than the one four years ago or when I almost drowned, or…"_ she thought to herself. There were other horrific days and moments she'd experienced, but she knew that if she laid in bed remembering them, each and every last detail of them, that she would never have the courage to face what was to transpire today. What scared Meredith the most was that it wasn't just that this feeling was that today was going to be hell, but that she sensed loss and betrayal on top of whatever would happen. In fact, this feeling of loss was so intense that her eyes began to swell with tears. One by one silent tears transcended her pale face; there was no mistaking it, Meredith was terrified. More than terrified really. So frightened, that her mouth began to water as the bile rose from her stomach. Before she knew it, Meredith's covers were flying through the air toward the floor as she sprinted for the door. Concentrating only on getting to the bathroom before it was too late, she threw all her body weight against the door, practically knocking it off its hinges. She made it to the bathroom just in time to kneel before the porcelain God and pay the toll.

After emptying what very little her stomach contained, she leaned against the wall, fingers threaded through her hair, and cried. She cried for this day, she cried for her family and friends, but most of all, she cried for herself. Her moment of pity was over as Izzie knocked softly on her bathroom door. "Mer? Are you okay? Are you sick?" she softly asked through the wood of the door.

Leaning over the sink, "Uh, no Iz. I'm alright. I'll be out in a minute," she brushed her teeth and rinsed her face with cold water trying to get her body and emotions under control.

Izzie had to consciously keep from gasping at what she saw as the bathroom door opened. Meredith stood there, drowning in a pair of sweats and long sleeved red shirt, in fact she thought it looked like one of Derek's; her face was the color of the bleach white towel in her hand. Basically, she looked like someone that belonged in the hospital…as a patient. "You sure you're alright? If you're sick, maybe you should stay home," she said to Meredith, gently placing a concerned hand on her arm.

Meredith was silent for quite awhile, as her thoughts played a game of tug-of-war. With this feeling she'd woken up with, she wanted nothing more than to stay home. In bed. ALL day. But she couldn't, she knew she had to face whatever was going to take place today. Meredith grabbed on to Izzie's hand with her own, squeezed it in reassurance, and said looking straight in her eyes, "I'm fine. I promise. In fact, why don't we both quickly get dressed and have a nice breakfast together?"

Izzie couldn't have been more surprised at this proposition. It was very unlike Meredith to want to have a nice sit-down breakfast with her roommate. She looked at her oddly for a second until a huge smile appeared on her face. "That sounds amazing! Great idea! I'll cook, we can catch up." Izzie crossed her fingers and hoped that this was Meredith's way of reaching out and asking for some sort of help. That Meredith was ready to trust Izzie with whatever was happening in her life. _"Ha, I'm gonna know before Christina!" _Izzie excitedly thought. She couldn't help but dream that Mer was finally considering Izzie one of "her people", the same way she viewed Christina ("her person"). She longed for that bond with either Christina or Meredith. Izzie had always felt so left out. They were in their own little dark and twisty world and wouldn't let anyone else in. _"I am dark and twisty too. Finally they've noticed!"_ Izzie thought to herself as she hurriedly got ready.

Meredith Grey was not the type of girl to go crazy with makeup or clothes when it came to work. Why go to the hospital in something "hot" and stylish when she would be changing out of it and into her scrubs within minutes of arriving for her shift. Sure she had cute and very "in" clothes that she wore for nice or special occasions, but work was not included as a nice occasion. However, today was different.

She didn't know exactly what was going to happen today; she only knew it was big, bad, and life changing. Because of this, Meredith decided that it was a great day to look fabulous. So after quickly showering, she went to work on her hair. Luckily, she was naturally pretty great and fast at doing her hair and other's. _"Who would've guessed right?"_ she smirked and thought as she applied the finishing touches to her long, slightly wavy hair. No ponytail today. She wanted to look nice and put together, but definitely not over the top. After locking her door, a robe clad Meredith got down on her knees and reached around under her bed until she pulled out a box. Rifling through the neatly folded clothes inside, she finally chose the perfect outfit. Laying the clothes on the bed, she scoured for her wrap and tape. Once the items were located, she sat at the head of her bed, left leg stretched before her, and began carefully wrapping the bandage from the middle of her foot to the middle of her thigh with great patience and precision. Once she was satisfied with her work and knew that the wrap was secure, she grabbed the athletic tape and went to work. Meredith needed to make sure that certain spots were wrapped and taped in such a way that it not only acted as a crutch and protected the injury, but she was able to have full mobility and range of movement. Meredith stretched her now mummified leg a bit and jumped around, making sure her work was impeccable… just in case. Satisfied, she threw on her one of a kind custom Dolce and Gabanna medium wash jeans made especially for her (they just so happened to be her favorite jeans) and a gold tank top sporadically covered in gold sequins. Her favorite black leather bomber jacket and black Tory Burch flats finished off the look. Sure the pieces of clothing were all designer, but none of them had any labels on the outside. No one would know that these clothes were expensive and designer and came from her "other life". Throwing her scrubs, more athletic tape, socks, running shoes, black leggings, blue spandex shorts, and a black razor back shirt with built in sports bra in a gym bag, she ran downstairs to have breakfast with Izzie.

Smiling, "Woah, look at you! Who are you trying to impress? A guy? I've never seen you dress like this for work! You're a surgeon rockstar!" Izzie said to her as she came through the kitchen door.

Blushing Meredith replied, "Yeah, I know. I just felt like dressing more girly today. NO reason…NO guy…NO one to impress." She emphasized the word's "NO". "Just felt like being a little different today."

"Well you look amazing! You're coloring looks a lot better. You finally get some sleep last night?"

"Not really. Make-up. It can really work miracles."

Still unable to take her eyes away from Meredith and her "new look", she joked, "I bet you McDreamy is gonna die when he sees your fine skinny ass walk through the doors today! All he's gonna wanna do is jump you! Ha! Nurse Rose who?"

"I don't care what Dr. Shepard thinks of me. In fact I would prefer if I don't see him at all today or anytime soon! He just won't leave me alone and it's driving me crazy!" Meredith replied.

The fact that Meredith had just referred to Derek as Dr. Shepard did not go unnoticed by Izzie. Actually, she found it strange. Setting two plates of French toast, eggs, sausage, sourdough toast, turkey bacon, and potatoes down at the table, Izzie couldn't help herself. After all, Meredith left her a wide-open entrance. "He's just worried. In fact, we all are Mer. We know you are totally hiding something from us. You are always out somewhere mysterious, you barely sleep, you barely eat, you're jumpy, and quite frankly you've been looking like shit. Are you in some kind of trouble? You know you can trust me. You're my family. Let me be here for you."

Meredith picked up her fork and began eating, ignoring Izzie's heartfelt speech as long as she could. I mean what could she say? Not the truth, so she lied…well sort of. Placing her fork down and looking straight at her roommate, colleague, and friend, she calmly and quietly said, "I know Izzie. I know you've all been worried about me, but I promise you that everything will be fine. Things have just been so stressful lately. You guys are right, I haven't been taking as good a care of myself as I should; I realize that now, but things are going to change. There's no need to worry about me anymore. I've been taking care of myself since before I can remember. It's just the way I am. Just because I don't tell you every little thing about me or how I'm feeling, doesn't mean I don't trust you. Because I do, I really do. You're my family too and I hope it always stays that way." Meredith continued to eat the delicious breakfast Izzie had prepared them. Looking up and staring Iz straight in the eyes, her voice began to break and shake as she whispered, "No matter what happens, you will always be my family." As she heard George and Alex pummeling down the stairs, following the smell of Iz's cooking, she looked towards the sound of them laughing. "You all will." It took Izzie a second to realize that Meredith's eyes were glossy and watery, so she decided to leave the matter alone and continue eating in silence. Izzie jumped a little as she felt Meredith tightly grab her hand, "You know, we don't know everything about each other Iz. And that's ok. We know what we need to know and that's enough."

Izzie squeezed her hand, "I know Meredith. You're right. Just know, I'm always here if you need me. Even if it's just to lend a shoulder for you to cry on, or sit in silence sharing a gallon of strawberry ice cream. I'm here."

It took everything Meredith had not to spill anything about her secret. Instead she walked over, pulled Izzie to her feet and gave her the biggest hug. It was this sight that George and Alex walked in on. They looked at each other strangely, then walked over and joined the hug.

"What's going on? What did I miss?" George asked in his little boy voice.

Meredith and Izzie pulled away from each other and simultaneously said, "Nothing George."

"I feel so left out. Come on guys!"

Ignoring him, both girls sat down to finish their breakfast.

"Dude you look hot! What's with the new look?" Alex questioned, looking Meredith up and down.

"Just felt like wearing something different today."

"You look really nice Meredith. Those new clothes?" George asked.

"No, they're actually like… hm… five years old. I think," she answered.

Izzie was confused. She'd been in Meredith's closet numerous times to borrow something and she'd never seen any of the items Mer was wearing. "How come I've never seen them in your closet when I'm borrowing your clothes?"

"Guess you didn't look hard enough," Meredith smirked.

Just as the boys sat down with their plates of Izzie's scrumptious cooking, Meredith walked to the sink to rinse her off her empty plate. Izzie was ecstatic that Mer had eaten all her breakfast. _"I guess she was telling the truth when she said things were going to get better,"_ Iz thought.

"I'm gonna head out you guys. I've got to run a quick errand before work, so I'll see you at the meeting with the Chief, Attendings, Residents, and interns before rounds," Meredith announced.

"See you later!" George and Izzie said.

As she walked from the kitchen to the front door, she heard Alex whistle at her. "Yeah, see you later Hotstuff!"

Breakfast with Izzie was not only delicious, but Meredith had enjoyed their heart-to-heart discussion. She had wanted to have breakfast together since she had no idea what was going to happen today and she wanted one last happy moment before "the Devil had his fun with her". She would've asked George and Alex to join them to begin with, but she knew that it would mean a lot to Izzie if it was just them. Meredith knew Izzie felt like the third wheel when it came to Christina and her. She really didn't have an errand to run (just a phone call to make); she just wasn't ready to tell George he couldn't move into the locked room. It had been such a nice morning, that she didn't want to ruin it or upset anyone.

As she drove towards the hospital, Meredith patted her very full stomach and smiled. She couldn't have been more ecstatic over that fact that she didn't start the day off with one of her "special shakes". With the feeling she had, Meredith felt it was extremely wise to start the day off with a full meal that would give her energy for whatever she would have to face that day. You know what they say… breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

Before she reached Seattle Grace, Meredith pulled into an IHOP parking lot so she could make her private phone call. Making sure she was out of sight from the road in case her roommates passed it while she was still there, she chose a spot furthest away from the street with a ton of cars around her to keep her "invisible". Reaching for the gym bag she'd packed that morning, she dug around inside until she found the crystal covered cell phone she kept hidden from her friends. It was a lifeline to her "other life". She hit speed dial 2 and waited for someone to pick up. On the fifth ring, a groggy sleep-filled voice answered.

"Hello?" the voice said.

Meredith smiled, "Hey Mads, it's me! Sorry I woke you up. I… I just need to talk."

Suddenly the voice, or "Mads" as Meredith had referred to her, became much more awake. "You ok Mer? Anything happen? What do you need me to do? Who do I need to call? Does someone need to come get you? Are you hurt?" "Mads" was panicked and rattling off questions.

"Chill. I'm fine. I just… I have a feeling."

"Do you know what time it is?" "Mads" was angry. "You scared the fuck out of me! You never call me this early unless something is wrong! What the hell? I thought something had happened to you… that you were in trouble."

Meredith became defensive. "Yes, I know what time it is. It's 5:30 in the morning! I'm sorry it's so early, but I need to talk to you and it's the only time I can call you all day. You know I need privacy to talk to you. That's incredibly difficult to get at the house. I'll let you go. I'm sorry."

"Mads" felt bad. She knew Meredith wouldn't call her this early unless she really needed her. "No, I'm sorry I was a bitch. It's just that every time the phone rings, I find myself holding my breath, so scared that it's bad news. That something has happened to you." "Mads" sighed, followed by a huge deep breath. Anyway, what's going on? You said you have a feeling? What kind of feeling?" she asked Meredith, worry filling her voice.

"Don't worry, it's not a feeling of death. I just feel like something terrible is going to happen today. I feel like it's going to be the worst day EVER. And you know that says a lot, given the number 1 worst day I've ever had. I can't talk to any of my friends about it… just you."

"Mads" was awake and listening not only to every word Meredith said, but to the sound of her voice, the pauses she took. She listened to everything. She knew that Meredith rarely told anyone if something was wrong; so good luck getting her to tell them what exactly was wrong! Because of this, over the years, "Mads" had learned to figure out what was going on with Meredith by being unnaturally perceptive. "Well, what do you want me to do? Have everything ready? Call Big? Call Moe? Maybe you should just take the time off work now, instead of waiting for the announcement or for something to happen."

"No, not yet. Not if I don't have to. I do, however, want you to get EVERYTHING ready. Most likely we will have visitors soon, so have that all prepared. Also, I do want you to give a heads up to BIG… and… uh… I guess giving Moe a heads up wouldn't hurt either. But, Mads. Before you do anything else…"

"Make sure she's safe," interrupted "Mads", finishing her sentence.

"Yes. Thank you!" Meredith sniffled into the phone, holding back her tears. "Also, make sure you stay safe as well. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you… either one of you."

"You are the one that needs to stay safe! Promise me you'll be careful?" "Mads" voice was laced with love and concern.

Meredith smiled. Another person worried about her, but this one, she didn't mind. "Always. Well I've got to run. I'm going to be late for work. There's an important meeting before rounds. I'll call you when I can. Don't forget that I love you and miss you!"

"Miss you. Have a good day and stay safe. Don't kill any patients!" "Mads" giggled. "And don't forget that I love you too Mer."

Just as they were about to hang up, Meredith said, "When she wakes up, tell her I love her and that we'll all be together soon!"

"No problem. She'll be beside herself when I tell her I talked to you. Oh and give that McDreamy of yours a kick in the nuts for me! Luv ya, Bye!"

Before she could chastise "Mads", she heard the dial tone. _"She always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better,"_ she laughed to herself. Meredith turned the extremely girly phone off and placed it back in its safe and hidden spot in her gym bag. _"It's time to face the day,"_ she thought as she maneuvered the car back onto the street, heading for Seattle Grace.

**MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE REVIEW BUTTON! I LOVE READING WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF THE STORY! FEEL FREE TO GIVE GOOD ONES OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM... BOTH HELP ME GET BETTER! **

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Thanks again, xo Laura xo

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. However, I do own "Mads".

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thanks for reading... and thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I hope you are enjoying the story. On a weird, dorky note, I have the words "PAGE BREAK" written every time a new scene starts because I can't get the single grey line to stay after I save the changes. So I apologize if it looks weird and incredibly lame. If anyone knows how I can get the grey line to stay after I save the changes in the chapter I would love to hear from you. If you aren't sure what grey line I'm referring to, look back at Chapter 3 & 4. I used them as little separators. Anyways, I'll shut up and let you read! Thanks again and **ENJOY**!

**SUMMARY:** Meredith has a "feeling" that it's going to be the worst day ever. She dresses up in her favorite clothes, which so happen to be expensive designer clothes from her "other life". Izzie and Meredith have a heart-to-heart talk during a nice breakfast together before. Meredith wants to make sure she has a happy moment before work even though discussing her feelings while trying to clear the air with Iz is out of character for her. She wants to remind everyone that she is their "family" and they are hers. Mer drives herself to work and stops on the way to make a phone call to someone named "Mads". It's obvious that whoever "Mads" is, she knows everything about Meredith: her secrets, her fears, and her insecurities.

**PREVIOUSLY… Ch.5**

_Meredith had gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep TOTAL the entire night. When her alarm sounded at 2:40 am telling her it was time to go to her "other life" before work, she had a feeling. A feeling so strong that she called in sick to her "other life", stayed in bed, and tried to get another two hours of sleep before she had to be at work. Still, now at 5 am, that feeling hadn't disappeared, but had only grown stronger and more intense. It was a feeling similar to the one she had woken up with the morning of the code black at Seattle Grace. Except, that feeling had been more of death waiting to claim her. But this morning's feeling…had nothing to do with death. This one was more of a "oh crap, the devil's going to fuck with me today, make my life a living hell" kind of feeling. When some people think of the Devil, yes death certainly comes to mind. But this was as if she KNEW that today was going to be one of the worst days of her life, which spoke volumes to her because she thought that she had already experienced the worst day of her life…a few times now. "How could I have a worse day than the one four years ago or when I almost drowned, or…" she thought to herself. There were other horrific days and moments she'd experienced, but she knew that if she laid in bed remembering them, each and every last detail of them, that she would never have the courage to face what was to transpire today. What scared Meredith the most was that it wasn't just that this feeling was that today was going to be hell, but that she sensed loss and betrayal on top of whatever would happen. In fact, this feeling of loss was so intense that her eyes began to swell with tears. One by one silent tears transcended her pale face; there was no mistaking it, Meredith was terrified. More than terrified really. So frightened, that her mouth began to water as the bile rose from her stomach. Before she knew it, Meredith's covers were flying through the air toward the floor as she sprinted for the door. She made it to the bathroom just in time to kneel before the porcelain God and pay the toll._

_After emptying what very little her stomach contained, she leaned against the wall, fingers threaded through her hair, and cried. She cried for this day, she cried for her family and friends, but most of all, she cried for herself. Her moment of pity was over as Izzie knocked softly on her bathroom door. "Mer? Are you okay? Are you sick?" she softly asked through the wood of the door._

_Leaning over the sink, "Uh, no Iz. I'm alright. I'll be out in a minute," she brushed her teeth and rinsed her face with cold water trying to get her body and emotions under control._

_Izzie had to consciously keep from gasping at what she saw as the bathroom door opened. Meredith stood there, drowning in a pair of sweats and long sleeved red shirt, in fact she thought it looked like one of Derek's; her face was the color of the bleach white towel in her hand. Basically, she looked like someone that belonged in the hospital…as a patient. "You sure you're alright? If you're sick, maybe you should stay home," she said to Meredith, gently placing a concerned hand on her arm._

_Meredith was silent for quite awhile, as her thoughts played a game of tug-of-war. With this feeling she'd woken up with, she wanted nothing more than to stay home. In bed. ALL day. But she couldn't, she knew she had to face whatever was going to take place today. Meredith grabbed on to Izzie's hand with her own, squeezed it in reassurance, and said looking straight in her eyes, "I'm fine. I promise. In fact, why don't we both quickly get dressed and have a nice breakfast together?"_

_Izzie couldn't have been more surprised at this proposition. It was very unlike Meredith to want to have a nice sit-down breakfast with anyone. She looked at her oddly for a second until a huge smile appeared on her face. "That sounds amazing! Great idea! I'll cook, we can catch up." Izzie crossed her fingers and hoped that this was Meredith's way of reaching out and asking for some sort of help. That Meredith was ready to trust Izzie with whatever was happening in her life. "Ha, I'm gonna know before Christina!" Izzie excitedly thought. She couldn't help but dream that Mer was finally considering Izzie one of "her people", the same way she viewed Christina ("her person"). She longed for that bond with either Christina or Meredith. Izzie had always felt so left out. They were in their own little dark and twisty world and wouldn't let anyone else in._

* * *

_Meredith Grey was not the type of girl to go crazy with makeup or clothes when it came to work. Why go to the hospital in something "hot" and stylish when she would be changing out of it and into her scrubs within minutes of arriving for her shift. Sure she had cute and very "in" clothes that she wore for nice or special occasions, but work was not included as a nice occasion. However, today was different._

_She didn't know exactly what was going to happen today; she only felt it was big, bad, and life changing. Because of this, Meredith decided that it was a great day to look fabulous. So after quickly showering, she went to work on her hair. Luckily, she was naturally pretty great and fast at doing her hair and other's. "Who would've guessed right?" she smirked and thought as she applied the finishing touches to her long, slightly wavy hair. No ponytail today. She wanted to look nice and put together, but definitely not over the top. After locking her door, a robe clad Meredith got down on her knees and reached around under her bed until she pulled out a box. Rifling through the neatly folded clothes inside, she finally chose the perfect outfit. Laying the clothes on the bed, she scoured for her wrap and tape. Once the items were located, she sat at the head of her bed, left leg stretched before her, and began carefully wrapping the bandage from the middle of her foot to the middle of her thigh with great patience and precision. Once she was satisfied with her work and knew that the wrap was secure, she grabbed the athletic tape and went to work. Meredith needed to make sure that certain spots were wrapped and taped in such a way that it not only acted as a crutch and protected the injury, but she was able to have full mobility and range of movement. Meredith stretched her now mummified leg a bit and jumped around, making sure her work was impeccable… just in case. Satisfied, she threw on her one of a kind custom Dolce and Gabanna medium wash jeans made especially for her (they just so happened to be her favorite jeans) and a gold tank top sporadically covered in gold sequins. Her favorite black leather bomber jacket and black Tory Burch flats finished off the look. Sure the pieces of clothing were all designer, but none of them had any labels on the outside. No one would know that these clothes were expensive and designer and came from her "other life". Throwing her scrubs, more athletic tape, socks, running shoes, black leggings, blue spandex shorts, and a black razor back shirt with built in sports bra in a gym bag, she ran downstairs to have breakfast with Izzie._

* * *

_"Well you look amazing! You're coloring looks a lot better."_

_"Make-up. It really can work miracles."_

_Still unable to take her eyes away from Meredith and her "new look", she joked, "I bet you McDreamy is gonna die when he sees your fine skinny ass walk through the doors today! All he's gonna wanna do is jump you! Ha! Nurse Rose who?"_

_"I don't care what Dr. Shepard thinks of me. In fact I would prefer if I don't see him at all today or anytime soon! He just won't leave me alone and it's driving me crazy!" Meredith replied._

_The fact that Meredith had just referred to Derek as Dr. Shepard did not go unnoticed by Izzie. Actually, she found it strange. Setting two plates of French toast, eggs, sausage, sourdough toast, turkey bacon, and potatoes down at the table, Izzie couldn't help herself. After all, Meredith left her a wide-open entrance. "He's just worried. In fact, we all are Mer. We know you are totally hiding something from us. You are always out somewhere mysterious, you barely sleep, you barely eat, you're jumpy, and quite frankly you've been looking like shit. Are you in some kind of trouble? You know you can trust me. You're my family. Let me be here for you."_

_Meredith picked up her fork and began eating, ignoring Izzie's heartfelt speech as long as she could. I mean what could she say? Not the truth, so she lied…well sort of. Placing her fork down and looking straight at her roommate, colleague, and friend, she calmly and quietly said, "I know Izzie. I know you've all been worried about me, but I promise you that everything will be fine. Things have just been so stressful lately. You guys are right, I haven't been taking as good a care of myself as I should; I realize that now, but things are going to change. There's no need to worry about me anymore. I've been taking care of myself since before I can remember. It's just the way I am. Just because I don't tell you every little thing about me or how I'm feeling, doesn't mean I don't trust you. Because I do, I really do. You're my family too and I hope it always stays that way." Meredith continued to eat the delicious breakfast Izzie had prepared them. Looking up and staring Iz straight in the eyes, her voice began to break and shake as she whispered, "No matter what happens, you will always be my family." As she heard George and Alex pummeling down the stairs, following the smell of Iz's cooking, she looked towards the sound of them laughing. "You all will." It took Izzie a second to realize that Meredith's eyes were glossy and watery, so she decided to leave the matter alone and continue eating in silence. Izzie jumped a little as she felt Meredith tightly grab her hand, "You know, we don't know everything about each other Iz. And that's ok. We know what we need to know and that's enough."_

_Izzie squeezed her hand, "I know Meredith. You're right. Just know, I'm always here if you need me."_

_It took everything Meredith had not to spill anything about her secret. Instead she walked over, pulled Izzie to her feet and gave her the biggest hug. It was this sight that George and Alex walked in on. They looked at each other strangely, then walked over and joined the hug._

_"Dude you look hot! What's with the new look?" Alex questioned, looking Meredith up and down._

_"Just felt like wearing something different today."_

_"You look really nice Meredith. Those new clothes?" George asked._

_"No, they're actually like… hm… five years old. I think," she answered._

_Izzie was confused. She'd been in Meredith's closet numerous times to borrow something and she'd never seen any of the items Mer was wearing. "How come I've never seen them in your closet when I'm borrowing your clothes?"_

_"Guess you didn't look hard enough," Meredith smirked._

_Just as the boys sat down with their plates of Izzie's scrumptious cooking, Meredith walked to the sink to rinse her off her empty plate. Izzie was ecstatic that Mer had eaten all her breakfast. "I guess she was telling the truth when she said things were going to get better," Iz thought._

_"I'm gonna head out you guys. I've got to run a quick errand before work, so I'll see you at the meeting with the Chief, Attendings, Residents, and interns before rounds," Meredith announced._

* * *

_Breakfast with Izzie was not only delicious, but Meredith had enjoyed their heart-to-heart discussion. She had wanted to have breakfast together since she had no idea what was going to happen today and she wanted one last happy moment before "the Devil had his fun with her". She really didn't have an errand to run (just a phone call to make); she just wasn't ready to tell George he couldn't move into the locked room. It had been such a nice morning, that she didn't want to ruin it or upset anyone._

_As she drove towards the hospital, Meredith patted her very full stomach and smiled. She couldn't have been more ecstatic over that fact that she didn't start the day off with one of her "special shakes". With the feeling she had, Meredith felt it was extremely wise to start the day off with a full meal that would give her energy for whatever she would have to face that day._

_Before she reached Seattle Grace, Meredith pulled into an IHOP parking lot so she could make her private phone call. Reaching for the gym bag she'd packed that morning, she dug around inside until she found the crystal covered cell phone she kept hidden from her friends. It was a lifeline to her "other life". She hit speed dial 2 and waited for someone to pick up. On the fifth ring, a groggy, sleep-filled voice answered._

_"Hello?" the voice said._

_Meredith smiled, "Hey Mads, it's me! Sorry I woke you up. I… I just need to talk."_

_Suddenly the voice, or "Mads" as Meredith had referred to her, became much more awake. "You ok Mer? Anything happen? What do you need me to do? Who do I need to call? Does someone need to come get you? Are you hurt?" "Mads" was panicked and rattling off questions._

_"Chill. I'm fine. I just… I have a feeling."_

_"Do you know what time it is?" "Mads" was angry. "You scared the fuck out of me! You never call me this early unless something is wrong! What the hell? I thought something had happened to you… that you were in trouble."_

_Meredith became defensive. "Yes, I know what time it is. It's 5:30 in the morning! I'm sorry it's so early, but I need to talk to you and it's the only time I can call you all day. You know I need privacy to talk to you. That's incredibly difficult to get at the house. I'll let you go. I'm sorry."_

_"Mads" felt bad. She knew Meredith wouldn't call her this early unless she really needed her. "No, I'm sorry I was a bitch. It's just that every time the phone rings, I find myself holding my breath, so scared that it's bad news. That something has happened to you." "Mads" sighed, followed by a huge deep breath. "Anyway, what's going on? You said you have a feeling? What kind of feeling?" she asked Meredith, worry filling her voice._

_"Don't worry, it's not a feeling of death. I just feel like something terrible is going to happen today. I feel like it's going to be the worst day EVER. I can't talk to any of my friends about it… just you."_

_"Mads" was awake and listening not only to every word Meredith said, but to the sound of her voice, the pauses she took. She listened to everything. "Well, what do you want me to do? Have everything ready? Call Big? Call Moe? Maybe you should just take the time off work now, instead of waiting for the announcement or for something to happen."_

_"No, not yet. Not if I don't have to. I do, however, want you to get EVERYTHING ready. Most likely we will have visitors soon, so have that all prepared. Also, I do want you to give a heads up to BIG… and… uh… I guess giving Moe a heads up wouldn't hurt either. But, Mads. Before you do anything else…"_

_"Make sure she's safe," interrupted "Mads", finishing her sentence._

_"Yes. Thank you!" Meredith sniffled into the phone, holding back her tears. "Also, make sure you stay safe as well. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you… either one of you."_

_"You are the one that needs to stay safe! Promise me you'll be careful?" "Mads" voice was laced with love and concern._

_Meredith smiled. Another person worried about her, but this one, she didn't mind. "Always. Well I've got to run. I'm going to be late for work. There's an important meeting before rounds. I'll call you when I can. Don't forget that I love you and miss you!"_

_"Miss you. Have a good day and stay safe. Don't kill any patients!" "Mads" giggled. "And don't forget that I love you too Mer."_

_Just as they were about to hang up, Meredith said, "When she wakes up, tell her I love her and that we'll all be together soon!"_

_"No problem. She'll be beside herself when I tell her I talked to you. Oh and give that McDreamy of yours a kick in the nuts for me! Luv ya, Bye!" Meredith turned the extremely girly phone off and placed it back in its safe and hidden spot in her gym bag. "It's time to face the day," she thought as she maneuvered the car back onto the street, heading for Seattle Grace._

* * *

**CHAPTER 6 -** **May 17, 2008**

After hanging up with "Mads", Meredith headed towards Seattle Grace. She couldn't believe it, not only did she hit every red light from IHOP to work, but she couldn't find a parking spot to save her life. She ended up parking so far away she felt she was walking across an entire country just to get to the doors of the hospital. All these things combined made Meredith late for the surgeon's staff meeting with the Chief. In fact, she didn't have time to change out of her "hot" clothes and into her scrubs. _"I was right about my feeling. If this is just the beginning, it really is going to be the worst day of my life!" _Meredith thought as she ran towards the large conference room carrying her gym bag. She felt like she had traveled back in time to her first day as an intern. So focused on getting to the meeting, she burst through the conference room doors interrupting the Chief mid sentence. All eyes turned towards her as Meredith walked to the seat Christina and Izzie had been saving for her. She was well aware of people's whistles and whispers over her appearance. Sitting down and getting comfortable in her seat, her eyes met the Chief's furrowed eyebrows and questioning look. Immediately she looked away only to notice Derek lustfully eyeing her up and down. "Well if everyone's settled, I'd like to continue," the Chief said, not at all trying to hide his annoyance at his staff's complete focus on Meredith's tardiness and state of dress instead of the topic at hand.

The chief resumed what he'd been informing them before Meredith interrupted. "What's with you showing up to the meeting dressed like runway Barbie?" Christina whispered.

"I didn't have time to change into my scrubs."

"Why are you wearing those clothes to begin with? You look like… like a… a girl…that… that cares about what people in this 'middle school' think," Christina wouldn't let it go.

Meredith was getting annoyed. Defensively she snapped, "I just felt like wearing something different… dressing like a girl or runway Barbie, or whatever you want to call it, instead of a slob. Maybe you should try it one day. You never know, you might end up getting a date!"

This shut Christina up, but it didn't stop other people's glances. Meredith could understand certain people looking at her, for example the colleagues of hers that incessantly gossiped about her or Mark because of his horny personality, but she could not for the life of her understand why Bailey wouldn't take her eyes off her. Bailey's eyes were squinted at her; not in a mean menacing sort of way, but a thinking hard kind of way. As if she was trying to remember something. Meredith couldn't have felt more uncomfortable. In fact, she was starting to regret wearing her favorite clothes.

* * *

The meeting was over and Meredith had absolutely no idea what was said. She was too busy thinking and worrying to even bother paying attention for a few seconds let alone a couple minutes. Everyone was filing out of the room, getting ready for rounds and surgeries. As she exited the room, someone grabbed her by her right arm, dragging her a few feet away from any eavesdropping staff members standing directly outside the conference room. Not knowing whom it was, she panicked. On instinct, Meredith's right leg flew to the side to knock her "assailant's" legs out from under them. "It's me Meredith. Mark!" he said to her just in time or else he would've been flat on his ass. "What the hell? Jumpy much?"

"Sorry, I didn't know it was you!" Looking around, Meredith noticed that some nurses and a few interns were staring at her like she was insane. They had witnessed her start to use a defensive "I'm gonna kick your ass if you touch me" move. _"Great! I just supplied the gossipers with ammunition. I can hear it now! 'Crazy, broken hearted Meredith takes out her anger and lonliness over losing McDreamy on his best friend, Mark.' Or maybe it'll be, 'Manwhore McSteamy almost gets his ass kicked by loony, dirty ex-mistress Meredith for trying to take her in an on call room to get down and dirty.' The possibilities are endless. I so didn't need this today. Ughh, dammit Mark. I really am gonna kick his ass!"_ Meredith thought. Suddenly she became irritated and her voice became an angry whisper. "What the hell were you thinking? Grabbing me like that? At a time like this. You know what's going on! Of all the people in this hospital, you know better, you idiot!"

Mark threw his hands in the air, surrendering, "Geez, I'm sorry! I thought you knew it was me!"

"Whatever! Do you have anything to say? I mean why'd you grab me to begin with?"

"Well I saw you're hot little outfit. Thought maybe something was going on? They make the announcement?" he asked while slowly looking her up and down in an appreciative manner. "I mean the first time I met you four years ago, you were wearing clothes like this."

"No. There hasn't been an announcement," she told him.

"Well then what's with the clothes?"

Meredith was annoyed, "Ugh, why is everyone making such a big deal over my clothes? I just felt like wearing them."

"Ha! Meredith Grey does not wear clothes like this on a daily basis," he emphasized her last name, Grey. "Especially when it comes to work. What's the real reason?"

"Fine, all knowing man whore! I woke up with a bad feeling, like today is going to be the worst day. I figured if something bad's gonna happen, I might as well look good."

"Feeling must be pretty strong for you to play dress up," he said, his voice full of empathy and understanding. A rarity for Mark.

She frowned, "Yeah it is." One moment she was fine, the next Meredith's face lost all coloring. It was as if she'd seen a ghost.

"What's the deal? You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost?" Mark asked while Meredith glanced around and behind herself in a worried, self-conscious manner. She didn't answer him. She was too busy looking around. Mark grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stare straight at him. "Meredith. You're freaking me out. What are you looking for?"

"Did you hear that?" she nervously asked.

"Hear what?"

She leaned forward as if telling him a secret and whispered, "Whistling. Did you hear the whistling?"

"Can't say that I did," he eyed her worriedly.

"Right. Nevermind. Forget this happened. I'm just tired. Must've been my imagination," she tried to assure him. However, he wasn't buying it. "Well I gotta go. I'm already late for rounds and I'm not even in my scrubs."

"You sure everything's okay?" She had really scared Mark. Maybe she wasn't imagining it. The question was, what was being whistled to make her look like she was gonna lose her breakfast? He could only imagine… and the things he came up with made his skin crawl.

"Positive!" Meredith headed towards the elevator, but was interrupted by Mark. "Bye superstar. I'll see you later. And… good luck with your day. Everything's gonna be fine. Don't worry too much." He wanted to ease her mind even if it was just a little and even if he didn't really believe what he was saying!

"Right. Thanks Mark."

As Meredith entered the elevator she was happy to find it empty. She would have time to think about her day so far and try to shake the feeling of uneasiness created by the whistling she heard. She hoped and prayed that either the tune she heard whistled was only in her head or the whistling in general was. She wasn't exactly one for going to church or praying, but _"desperate times call for desperate measures"_ she thought. Just as the elevator doors were almost shut, a hand shot in opening them back up. Meredith hoped it wasn't Derek. Afterall, he loved cornering her in the elevator, especially when it was empty. To her surprise it was none other than Dr. Miranda Bailey. Meredith couldn't decide if she was relieved that it was Bailey and not Derek or if it made her feel more uneasy and tense than she already was. Bailey had had her on edge during the entire meeting with her relentless staring.

As the elevator began its climb to their floor, Bailey glanced over at Meredith. "You're late Grey! You aren't even dressed. You're still in your street clothes."

Meredith didn't respond; silence filled the elevator. "Hello? Earth to Dr. Grey!"

"Oh um sorry Dr. Bailey. Um…I know I'm late. Trust me, it won't happen again," Meredith's last sentence sounded strange and distant with an underlying message.

It was obvious that something was going on with Dr. Grey. She looked as if she were a million miles away. "You okay Grey? You seem upset."

Meredith looked at her, "Um. Yeah. I'm fine!"

Bailey shook her head back and forth, "I don't believe you for one second, but whatever. If you don't want to tell me what's going on, there's no way I can help you."

"Well that's alright Dr. Bailey because I promise that I am just peachy! But thanks!"

Dr. Bailey was unconvinced. She could always tell when Meredith was lying; this was one of those times. "Alright then. If you say so."

An uncomfortable silence settled in the air. Meredith glanced up to see what floor they were on. _"Ah yes! It's almost to my floor,"_ thought Meredith.

Just as a faint smile of relief washed over Meredith's face, Dr. Bailey began speaking again. "You look nice today Grey. Any special occasion?"

"No, just felt like something different," Meredith said, for what felt like the millionth time that day.

Dr. Bailey was looking at her again; the same way she'd been staring at her during the meeting. "Well it's a good look for you. In fact, you remind me of someone. You've always actually looked so familiar to me, but I especially see it today."

Meredith felt like she might pass out. _"Oh my God! Have I been found out? Bailey can't actually see the resemblance… can she? No way! No one has before! I mean the first time I ever even met Bailey was my first day as an intern. She didn't know me four years ago."_ Meredith was trying to remain calm. _"That's right. She must just be thinking of one of her friends or a patient of hers. But then again, she surprised me, well all of us, when we discovered she loves "Judy Dolls". Maybe she does recognize me!"_ At this point, Meredith was doing everything she possibly could not to hyperventilate. _"Is something wrong with the elevator?"_ Meredith thought to herself. It was as if it was moving in slow motion, the way certain scenes are shot in movies or TV shows to impact and affect the audience more. She didn't want to be rude and ignore Bailey's statement, so she said, "Well I hope it's someone good that I remind you of."

Dr. Bailey smiled, lighting up her face. She looked so genuinely happy that her smile became contagious and a small one appeared on Meredith's own face. "Oh yeah. I can't think of her name, but she's a celebrity." That was all Meredith needed to hear to make her want to run and never look back. Luckily the elevator beeped, signaling they'd arrived at their destination. Dr. Bailey continued, "Beautiful and talented. She's actually a…" Meredith didn't hear the end of what Bailey was saying as she quickly exited the elevator, gym bag in hand. However, she didn't need to hear the end because she already knew whom the chief resident was referring to.

"Sorry Dr. Bailey, but I'm late as it is and I still have to change into my scrubs. But, it was nice chatting with you!" Meredith yelled back as she ran towards the resident's locker room.

"Girl gets stranger everyday," Dr. Bailey shook her head and muttered to herself as she headed down the hall in the opposite direction as Meredith.

* * *

Meredith barged into the locker room, throwing her gym bag down on the bench closest to her locker while running towards the restroom. She made it just in time to vomit nearly her entire delicious breakfast she'd shared with Izzie. _"Maybe I've developed some sort of ulcer from sneaking around and hiding my stupid secret." _Meredith thought. After exiting the stall, she quickly cleaned herself up and headed to her locker. She couldn't remember the last time she'd changed so fast. Before she knew it she was out of her favorite clothes. Meredith looked over her bandaged and taped leg, making sure everything was still secure. Satisfied, she pulled her black leggings on, put the blue spandex shorts over, followed by her black razor back tank top, all of which she'd pulled from her bag. This was her "be prepared" outfit. She looked as if she was heading out to work out or do something athletic. Once Meredith was positive everything was as comfortable as it could be, she threw her scrubs on over her "sporty" outfit. Getting ready to meet her interns for rounds, she stuffed everything in her locker, but not before grabbing her very sparkly girly cell phone and putting it in her pocket with her normal plain black iPhone. _"Just in case of an emergency,"_ Meredith thought to herself.

She was in such a hurry to meet her interns that she forgot she hadn't finished putting her shoes on yet. She had just slipped them on with the heels of her feet smashing the back of the shoe down. Arriving at her group of interns, she quickly fixed her shoes, just in case she had to run for some reason or another. Frazzled and out of sorts, Meredith said, "Alright let's do this. Let's start rounds."

* * *

George, Christina, Izzie, and Alex were already sitting around a table in the cafeteria when Meredith joined them, plopping her tray down at an empty spot with a loud bang. She was visibly upset, but they were scared to ask her what was wrong.

"Dude. What's got your panties in a knot?" Alex asked, earning an elbow in the ribs from Izzie due to his insensitivity. "What the hell?" he said to her.

Meredith glanced between the two. "Nothing. I just… keep hear… I'm just tired and can't wait for this day to be over." She was going to say that she kept hearing someone whispering a haunting song from her past, but she was scared.

"Did dressing like a slutty Barbie get you a date?" Christina glared. Apparently, she was still pissed off about this morning. Meredith didn't have it in her to argue with her, so she pretended she didn't hear anything. She was too preoccupied with her "feeling" and the awkward things that kept happening to her. She'd heard the whistling two times since she'd heard it with Mark. The first, during rounds and the last time while she was talking to a patient's family. However, when she was with the patient's family, it wasn't exactly whistling that she heard; it was humming. It was the same song she heard whistled earlier, just hummed instead. Every time she looked around to find where it was coming from, she saw nothing. Just nurses, doctors, patients, and their families. What if she was starting to go crazy from all the lying and the lack of sleep and it really was in her head?

Meredith's thoughts were interrupted by Izzie. "Breakfast was really great this morning Meredith. We should do it more often. Maybe make it a weekly thing? What do you think?"

"What are you talking about Martha Stewart?" Christina asked.

"Meredith wanted to have a nice breakfast with me this morning. We caught up and talked about stuff. Not to mention ate some really great food!" Izzie explained to Christina, knowing this would upset her. Izzie finally felt like Meredith was making an effort to include her and she wanted to rub it in Christina's face.

Before Christina could freak out, Mer answered her question, "Of course, Iz. That sounds like a great idea!"

Annoyed, Christina rolled her eyes and scoffed as she got up to leave.

"It'll be like our own tradition!" Izzie was ecstatic.

* * *

Lunch had just ended and most everyone was gathered around the nurse's station. Everyone being the Chief, Mark, Dr. Bailey, Callie, Nurse Rose, Christina, George, Lexi, Izzie, and Alex. Meredith had her head buried in a patient's chart when she heard the whistling again. However, she wasn't the only one this time; it wasn't in her head.

"Who is whistling that horrible song?" the chief (Richard Webber) asked, looking around.

Mark's eyes also began searching for the whistler. "Seriously. Who is that?"

Meredith's face was as pale as could be. The whistling was clearer and more distinct than it had been the other times she'd heard it that day. She knew who it was. She knew this was it. This was why she'd woken up with such a bad feeling. Before she looked around, she carefully and unnoticeably began toeing off her shoes, then her socks. The whistling became humming and got louder, signifying that the person was getting closer. It wasn't until after she was barefoot, standing in her scrubs that she turned towards the place it was coming from.

"Oh my God!" Dr. Webber and Mark said at the same time. They'd spotted the whistler/hummer, about 15 feet from Meredith.

"Meredith, come on. We need to go!" the Chief said to her.

Mark stepped closer to Meredith. "Come on, Meredith. Before it's too late," he whispered.

Dr. Derek Shepard was coming around the corner when he spotted an extremely strange sight before him. There was Meredith, standing by the nurse's station dressed in her scrubs… barefoot. Her socks and shoes discarded on the floor next to her. The Chief and Mark had panic written all over their faces as they tried to convince Meredith to leave. _"Leave? Where were they going with her? What the hell was going on?" _he thought.

"Meredith, NOW! Let's go NOW!" the chief emphasized the words "now". The whistler continued to stand there, smiling.

"No. It's too late. You guys need to leave." Meredith bravely said. She turned to the chief, "It's time, Richard. They found me."

"Who found you Meredith? What the hell is going on?" Izzie said. Confusion evident in her voice.

"Just GO! All of you. This has nothing to do with you!" Meredith yelled.

Meredith turned to the person causing the mayhem. "Took you long enough to find me."

At this point, nurses had joined everyone around the nurse's station. The chief and Mark had tears in their eyes, for they knew what was going on.

The humming stopped. "All that matters, that here I am!" the whistler said with her heavy accent and somewhat broken english. She appeared to be Meredith's age or something close to it. She was shorter than Meredith, but just as skinny. Barefoot and dressed in leggings with grey sweats cut by hand to hit just below the knee and a red tank top not covering the straps to her black sports bra.

"Irina, what do you want?" Meredith asked as she untied her scrub bottoms, causing them to pool on the floor, and pulled off her scrub top revealing the "sporty, workout" outfit she'd put on in the locker room. Whispering began behind her as her bandaged and taped left leg was revealed.

"Meredith? What the hell happened to your leg?" George asked. "Is that from that patient's kid a couple weeks ago?"

She was ignoring them… or trying to, but she was terrified. Terrified that when they discovered who she really was and that she'd lied, that they wouldn't want to be her "family" anymore or even her friends.

Meredith grabbed the sparkly cell phone from her scrub pant's pocket and casually threw it to Richard. He knew what to do. As Meredith began to speak again he sent a text message to BIG. "Found out. Needs extraction," is all he said. BIG would understand and take care of it… hopefully before anyone, especially Meredith, got hurt.

She repeated her question, "What do you want Irina?"

Hearing the stranger's name again, Bailey yelled, "Oh my God. It's you!" Derek, Christina, Alex, George, and Izzie (among others) fixed their eyes on Dr. Bailey. However, she didn't notice, nor did she care. "Damn girl, do you know who you are? What the hell have you been doing here?"

Christina finally spoke up, "Dr. Bailey what are you talking about?"

Everyone shut up as they heard Irina's answer, "You are fine. How is it you walk?"

A small smirk of a smile appeared on Meredith's face. "Thought you guys could get rid of me just like that, force me into retirement? It just made me work harder, want it more!"

"They should've killed you, when had chance!" Irina replied scowling.

It was then that everyone noticed two large men dressed in black had slowly taken their place behind Irina, each on one of her sides. Everyone was confused. Someone wanted Meredith dead? Had people tried to kill her? Thoughts were flying a million miles an hour in each of their heads as they softly whispered to people around them; all asking similar questions: did anyone know anything about this? who was Meredith and what was Bailey talking about?

Derek began walking towards Meredith, "Mer, what is going on? Who are these people? Are you in trouble?"

"Derek, stay away from me! You don't know me! You don't even know who I am!" Meredith didn't have it in her to turn and look him in the eyes. She had an idea of how hurt he was at this very moment.

Before he could get any closer to her, Mark reached out and stopped him. "Listen to her man. You'll only make things worse. She doesn't need you to be her knight in shining armor, so please, just stay back here." A few silent seconds went by of both looking each other in the eyes… well Derek was mostly glaring. Finally, Derek shrugged Mark's arm away, but didn't proceed to her. Something just told him he should listen to Mark, even though he wanted nothing more than to punch him for knowing something about Meredith that he didn't. _"Why can't Mark mind his own business?"_ Derek wondered.

"You're all too stupid to ever kill me, " Meredith smirked.

"Meredith don't!" Richard yelled.

"You will always be number 2… second best, and you know it!" she spat at Irina.

Irina made a motion towards the man on her right. Everyone looked towards Meredith as they heard her gasp. The man on Irina's right had a gun aimed directly at Meredith.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU THINKS ABOUT THE STORY! THANKS FOR READING... YOU ALL ROCK!**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters from the show. However, I do own Mo, JB, and BIG, not to mention "Mads" and Miley.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hey friends! Thank you so much for reading my 1st story. Also a HUGE thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I truly appreciate it. Please keep it up! In this chapter, you start to figure out what Meredith's secret is. It will actually be defined in the next chapter. I know a lot of you have been guessing as to what her "other life" is and I wanted it to be impossible to guess, so I hope none of you are disappointed. But it's my story and this is the way I wanted it to go. Please be sure to tell me what you think, good or bad!

**IMPORTANT:** The most important thing you have to know about this chapter is that there is some dialogue in a different language. But since I wanted you all to know what was said, I put it in English. So when you come across dialogue that is in **BOLD**, that means it's in Russian. For example, **"Who's fault is this"**,is really said in Russian. Use your imagination!

Also, don't forget that when a character is thinking it is in _ITALICS _!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY THE PAGE BREAKS WON'T STAY IN THE CHAPTERS WHEN I ADD AND SAVE THEM. PLEASE? I NEED YOU HELP! I WOULD SO BE IN YOUR DEBT, NOT TO MENTION UNBELIEVABLY THANKFUL!

ENJOY!

**PREVIOUSLY IN CH.6:**

"_They should've killed you, when had chance!" Irina replied scowling._

_It was then that everyone noticed two large men dressed in black had slowly taken their place behind Irina, each on one of her sides. Everyone was confused. Someone wanted Meredith dead? Had people tried to kill her? Thoughts were flying a million miles an hour in each of their heads as they softly whispered to people around them; all asking similar questions: did anyone know anything about this? who was Meredith and what was Bailey talking about?_

_Derek began walking towards Meredith, "Mer, what is going on? Who are these people? Are you in trouble?"_

"_Derek, stay away from me! You don't know me! You don't even know who I am!" Meredith didn't have it in her to turn and look him in the eyes. She had an idea of how hurt he was at this very moment._

_Before he could get any closer to her, Mark reached out and stopped him. "Listen to her man. You'll only make things worse. She doesn't need you to be her knight in shining armor, so please, just stay back here." A few silent seconds went by of both looking each other in the eyes… well Derek was mostly glaring. Finally, Derek shrugged Mark's arm away, but didn't proceed to her. Something just told him he should listen to Mark, even though he wanted nothing more than to punch him for knowing something about Meredith that he didn't. __"Why can't Mark mind his own business?"__ Derek wondered._

"_You're all too stupid to ever kill me, " Meredith smirked._

"_Meredith, don't!" Richard yelled._

"_You will always be number 2… second best, and you know it!" she spat at Irina._

_Irina made a motion towards the man on her right. Everyone looked towards Meredith as they heard her gasp. The man on Irina's right had a gun aimed directly at Meredith._

**CHAPTER 7 – May 17, 2008**

Normally, situations involving "a bad guy" pointing a gun at someone would automatically cause pandemonium; panicked people running and trying to hide wherever they could to make sure they were safe from the inevitable shower of bullets. This, however, was not normal. Nothing about the last few minutes near the nurse's station was normal. Meredith had ditched her scrubs, not to mention her shoes and socks, and it appeared that she had a pretty serious injury on one of her legs that no one knew about. The strange and random scene between Dr. Meredith Grey and the foreign (she had an accent and was speaking broken English) woman named Irina was so intriguing and bizarre that everyone stayed frozen to their spots, wanting to see it play out. It was as if no one was registering the fact that a bullet could hit any one of them at any given moment even though they were bystanders and not the intended target. Bystanders and innocent people were injured and killed all the time in scenarios similar to this one. However, it was quite evident that the only person who was going to get hurt here was Meredith, so the Chief, Mark, Dr. Bailey, Callie, Dr. Hahn, Nurse Rose, Christina, George, Lexi, Izzie, Alex, Derek, various interns, and numerous nurses stood frozen in their spots as they watched the scene unfold.

"Wow, a gun. You're going to have your goon shoot me… in front of all these people? These witnesses?" Meredith asked, voice steady as ever. To the crowd of people around her, she appeared completely unfazed by the gun pointed directly at her, but inside she was screaming. _"I'm not hurt yet, no one is. THANK GOD! Maybe I can get out of this… come on Meredith THINK! You can do this. You might be a little rusty, but it's possible. Talk to her, distract her. Don't let anyone take your bullet! Then they really won't forgive you! Speaking of which," _Mer looked behind her, noticing that not one person had left in search of safety, _"what the hell? Why isn't anyone running or hiding? For God's sake, there's a gun! A real gun! What the hell is wrong with them? Do they really need more things to spread about me? Are they so desperate and stupid that they'd risk their own lives just to have more to gossip about?"_ Meredith looked at them as if they were crazy. In doing so, she made eye contact with some. Christina's eyes showed regret and guilt, probably for her bitchiness all morning. Bailey looked scared for her, but at the same time disbelief was written in her eyes. The Chief and Mark both wore the same look: worry and fear. They knew what was going on and Meredith seemed to be egging Irina on, which only made them stress even more. The last person Meredith made eye contact with was Derek – the last person she wanted to face and, strangely, the first. He was hurt, upset, not to mention absolutely terrified for Meredith. His eyes questioned hers, asking,_"What the hell is going on? You could never find the time to tell me some crazy person wants to kill you? I love you, I always will. I always told you you could tell me anything! Why not this?"_ As she turned back around to face Irina, her eyes met Dr. Bailey's again. However, this time she saw something different. It was evident that Bailey knew who & what Meredith was just by the look on her face. Sure, Bailey probably didn't know the entire story, but she knew enough to put two and two together. As Meredith locked eyes with the woman who'd taught her about more than just medicine, the confidence and self-assurance she'd had 4 years ago began to come back. It was as if Bailey was sending it from her body right into Meredith's. What was even more strange and amazing, was that people around her could see the difference in Meredith as she faced Irina. She was standing a little taller, her shoulders a little stronger, her eyes a little brighter, and last but not least her little smirk of a smile was back.

"_I've been the best for about 15 years. They can't get rid of me so easily. You are better than her, better than all of them!"_ Meredith told herself. She couldn't just think it, she had to believe it; her life was depending on it, her families lives and her colleagues lives were all depending on it. She had to become the old Meredith.

With the gun still pointing at her, she said, "We've had this rivalry for what? 13 years or so? So, for you to finally beat me you are going to have me shot? Why not just prove you're better. If you do, that's it, I'm out. I'll retire. I'll even announce it myself! But if the only thing we discover is I still am the best, #1 if you will, everything goes on as planned. We'll go to China in August, and I'll still retire in September." Confidence oozed from Meredith. It was the Meredith that the Chief hadn't seen for 4 years, the one he missed. This Meredith was strong, focused, and well…bad-ass. This was a Meredith that her fellow residents and Derek, for that matter, had never once seen or met. It was this Meredith that had always intimidated and worried Irina. Meredith smiled as Irina nervously played with her shirt.

"Okay. Let's do! **Afterall, you've been out of the business for 4 years and I haven't missed one day. You're out of your league** (AN:only the bold sentences are in Russian)," Irina agreed.

Meredith was the only one who had understood what Irina had said in Russian. She wasn't fluent, but she could more than get by. With the traveling around the world she'd done most of her life, Meredith had picked up numerous languages. Something none of her hospital family knew, except for Richard and Mark.

(AN: Again, bold dialogue is really Russian) **"Who's fault is this?"** Meredith angrily asked as she pointed to her taped up, injured left leg. **"Just because I've always been better than you and everyone from your country doesn't mean you have to try and take me out and force me into retirement! I can't help it that I've always been better than you. There was nothing else for me to do growing up except practice! That was the only thing I could do. What were you doing all those hours I was practicing****?"** Meredith was pissed. She'd never asked for this to be her life. It had just sort of happened, something for her to do when her mother was working. It was always better than daycare… until 4 years ago.

As soon as Meredith started speaking the same language as Irina (Russian) George, Alex, Izzie, and Christina all sent each other questioning looks. "I didn't know Meredith spoke another language," Lexi said to the four people Mer was closest to in the hospital.

"Neither did we," Christina replied. Suddenly she was questioning everything she knew about Meredith. _"Do I know anything true about her? Has everything been a lie?"_

"What do you think they're saying?" Izzie asked.

"I don't know. But it doesn't sound good!" Alex stated.

"Meredith looks so angry, just like her mom did when she thought I was Meredith's dad and yelled at me," George whimpered.

Derek was eavesdropping on her friends. _"If they didn't even know about any of this, it must be bad. Especially Christina. They tell each other everything."_ Looking over at Mark he thought, _"Then why and how does Mark know what's going on here. It's completely obvious that Mark knows what this is about. In fact, by the look on his face I'd say he had a feeling something like this was gonna happen." _Derek was crushed, _"After everything that happened with Addison and Mark, how could she confide in him and not me?"_ As he thought things through, he felt someone grab his hand and squeeze. Looking down at the hand entwined in his, he realized it was Rose, his girlfriend. He had to remind himself that he wasn't with Meredith anymore, but with Rose. Avoiding Rose's eyes, he turned back to the situation with Meredith.

Irina slowly started walking towards Meredith as she spoke. **"Oh poor you! #1 in the world and you're complaining? Not just #1 a year or 2, but for 15 years!"** Irina stopped when she was about four or five feet away from Meredith. The small crowd formed around the nurse's station had never seen someone so angry before. Irina's brown eyes were so outraged that they were almost flashing red. In fact, at that very moment, she looked like the devil. **"You never gave anyone else a shot! You deserved what happened 4 years ago. And you deserve everything that's going to happen to you now!"** With that said, she motioned to the man with the gun and smiled. She smiled the most menacing and evil smile anyone had ever seen, including Meredith, as the man pulled the trigger.

Meredith's eyes were so large it looked like they might fall right out of her head as she stood frozen in place watching the bullet fly towards her. Her head was screaming for her to duck, jump, run, anything to get out of the way of the bullet, but it was as if her feet were encased in cement. She was rooted to the spot. Pain shot through Meredith as the bullet ripped and tore through the flesh of her left shoulder. She barely had time to register that she'd been shot, when Irina came flying towards her… literally. Before she knew it, Irina's right foot made contact with her face as Irina leapt through the air, her right leg doing some sort of crazy martial arts move. Everything was happening so suddenly, not to mention quickly. _"I thought our conversation was going well. I mean as well as it could be. I thought I'd talked her out of shooting me! All of a sudden she goes crazy trying to fucking beat me up? What the hell?" _Meredith thought while she was trying to get it together and defend herself… she was definitely failing. _"Yeah, I'm definitely rusty!"_ she thought to herself as she felt the force of Irina's foot meet the left side of her face. Her instincts began to kick in as Meredith ducked the next time Irina tried kicking her face. As she ducked she threw her uninjured right leg against Irina's legs, effectively knocking them out from under her landing her in a heap on the floor. With Irina still in a sort of sitting position on the floor, Meredith kicked her hard in the face with her right foot. Startled and dazed, it took Irina a moment to get it together.

She had to get the upper hand completely and the only way Meredith could think to get it was run. So, she began running (not at her full speed) towards the crowd.

"Oh my God! Why is this bitch beating up little Meredith? I mean she's so little. Why would someone want to hurt her?" Izzie yelped. As she saw Irina begin following Meredith she freaked out, "That's it you stupid bitch. Sure, you may be able to hurt Mer, but I'm from a fucking trailer park! I'm hardcore!" Izzie started for Irina, only to be grabbed by Mark.

"This isn't your fight Izzie! Stay out of it… for your safety! You don't know who they are and you really don't know Meredith. Just give her a second. It'll be fine!"

Derek overheard everything said between Izzie and Mark. Knowing that Mark knew the "real" Meredith, that she had let him in to her world so quickly was heartbreaking to Derek. He had made such an effort to get her to trust him and in the end he failed. The sense of betrayal he felt at that very moment was so intense that he became sick to his stomach. It took everything he had not vomit right there and then. Derek felt as if a knife was ripping through the many layers of skin, fat, and muscle while slowly working its way to his heart. Suddenly, it became exceedingly difficult to breath. As he stood there, Rose's hand in his, he attempted to get himself under control. People around him were starting to stare. _"Come on Derek. This isn't the time! Get yourself under control. Maybe there's an explanation for all this,"_ his conscience told him. Luckily, Richard interrupted his thoughts, giving him what he needed to calm down.

"EVERYONE, get out of the way NOW! Give them room!" the chief bellowed as Meredith ran towards the crowd, Irina hot on her heels.

The chief meant business by his voice, so everyone obeyed. No one had ever heard him speak like that.

With the hallway cleared directly next to the nurse's station, Meredith stopped, turned, and waited for Irina. Derek was panicked, "Meredith! Run! Don't just stop! Let me help you. For God's sake you've been shot! What are you doing? What is going on?" She heard him, but gave no answer, so he started walking to her. He had taken no more than three steps when the chief snatched his arm. Derek turned his head so he was face to face with the chief. "Richard, let me go. I'm not going to watch as someone tries to kill her!" He tried pulling his arm from the chief's grasp, but surprisingly, Richard was incredibly strong.

"You can't help her right now. You'll only make things worse. I've already got help on the way. Trust me Shep! She'll be okay. You don't know everything about her." Derek battled it out in his mind for a few seconds until he gave up trying to get to Meredith. Derek knew that Richard had promised Ellis Grey that he would always take care of Meredith, no matter what. He knew Richard would never break that promise, so if he said she was going to be okay he had to believe him.

Irina was still a ways away from Meredith, which gave her plenty of time and space to get away… or at least try. Meredith quickly looked over at Richard and Mark, gave them a sad, apologetic half smile, then took off at full sprint. Before Meredith reached Irina she did a cartwheel, but instead of finishing it, she began to do handsprings (sort of looks like a flip) one after the other. As soon as Irina saw Meredith in the air she panicked, having no idea what to do, or what exactly Meredith was up to she stood there. Meredith had such incredible height on her handsprings, that she was able to fly right over Irina's head. She managed a perfect landing, but immediately began sprinting again. This time towards the bridge above the lobby. The bridge that held so many memories with Derek. It took only a second for Irina to begin chasing her. As Irina passed the two men who had been standing behind her, she yelled something to them in Russian. Meredith was the only one of them that knew what was said, but whatever it was, the two men took off in the direction of what looked to be the parking lot. Meredith and Irina ran, disappearing down the hall.

"Holy crap! Meredith's flying!" George said, voice filled with complete and total awe as they watched her do a handspring over Irina's head.

"Wow. I had no idea she could do that. Look how flexible she is," Izzie added, she too was amazed by what Meredith was doing.

"I bet she's fucking fantastic in bed!" Alex snickered only to be slapped in the back of the head by Dr. Bailey.

"She's bleeding. Does she not realize she's got a bullet lodged in her shoulder?" Christina angrily said. It seemed she had no idea who Meredith was and it was eating away at her. Meredith was her person. Whenever Mer had a problem she always went to Christina, but she'd never said anything to her that could possibly explain what was going on right now.

"How is she able to use her arm like that with a bullet in it?" Lexie asked.

"Adrenaline. It's the most powerful drug. I see it all the time with my patients who have sports injuries," Callie answered, joining the conversation.

Everyone who'd been watching was so curious and confused they too took off running, chasing Meredith and Irina. It wasn't difficult to find them, all they had to do was follow the path of blood Meredith was leaving due to her wounded shoulder. As they got the two girls in sight Meredith was almost to the middle of the bridge and Irina was right on her heels. However, thanks to Richard's text message to BIG, Mer had some help.

Meredith's face lit up as Mo, a big 6'2" African American man dressed in black, came into sight. Their eyes met and he immediately knew what she needed. He crouched low to the floor as she got closer. When Meredith reached him, she jumped on his crouched back (using him as a sort of trampoline) then jumped to the railing of the bridge. Around the bridge was scaffolding. It was risky but it was the only way she could think of, in such a short amount of time, to get out safely. From the bridge's railing, she took a risky leap of faith in her abilities and jumped to a round metal beam painted white. Barely making it, she used it as a high bar and began swinging around it 360 degrees. Having gained enough speed and momentum, she released at the perfect moment, flying through the air and landing on a flat square beam a little below the round one she'd already been using. She gave herself a few seconds to make sure she was steady before looking to see what had happened with Irina.

"Damn, you really are the best. It's as if the last four years never happened," Richard said to himself, loud enough that everyone heard him, except Meredith.

"Oh my God! Did you just see what she did? Who the hell is this person inhabiting Mer's body?" Izzie asked.

"This is weird, very, very weird, "George uttered. "Who is that very large man that just helped Meredith?"

"Who cares about him. She's going to get herself killed. What is she doing up there?" Christina bitterly questioned.

"If I had to guess, I'd say she's trying to get away. Look in that man's ear. It looks like he's wearing some kind of ear piece like secret service agents wear," Alex answered.

"Seriously, what the hell is going on here?" Izzie frustratingly yelled. "And who are you?" she directed to Mo. He was too busying talking to whomever was on the other end of that ear piece to answer Izzie.

Immediately following Meredith's use of his back as a trampoline, Mo had jumped right back up to a standing position. To viewers he looked like a jack in the box toy. Luckily when Irina reached a no longer crouching Mo she couldn't mimic Meredith's moves, so she begrudgingly came to a stop as she watched her enemy (Mer) land safely on the square beam amidst the scaffolding. It took only one look into Meredith's eyes for Irina to figure out Meredith's next move. She made a run for the stairs coming off the bridge, but was met with a few obstacles… three to be exact.

Obstacle #1 : Dr. Mark Sloan. Sure he was a man whore and would basically sleep with anyone with legs… and a skirt, but he had known Meredith before Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Shepard ever laid eyes on her that fateful night at Joe's bar. Mark had met her as she lived through her worst nightmare. He had been a confidant, a friend who made her smile in her darkest hour, reminding her who she was and where she came from; basically letting her know everything would be all right and that her dark and scary world would one day shine again. He was right. Through all the drama and dark, twisty times she'd had at Seattle Grace, Meredith had never really been enveloped in the true darkness again. Being one of the only people that knew exactly what was going on, he had to do something. Something that'd buy her a bit more time to get to safety. To get to BIG. Even if it was only a few seconds. Although he wanted to physically hurt Irina, he couldn't knowing how pissed Meredith would be, so he got directly in her way as she scurried towards the stairs. She tried to move around him, but POOF, there he was. Irina and Mark danced from side to side, definitely not a friendly dance. Irina was growing restless not to mention angry. She had to get to Meredith, her country was relying on her. Although Irina thought Mark was incredibly attractive, she had to eliminate him. It broke her heart to do it, but she kicked him in the nuts causing him to immediately drop to his knees.

As Mark held his "men downstairs", Irina continued her mission: to get downstairs to the lobby. However, she came to OBSTACLE #2: Seattle Grace's Chief of Surgery, Dr. Richard Webber. He had been there for Meredith as a father figure. Helping her find the light in her world of darkness. It wasn't easy, but she finally made it. She'd come so far that he wasn't going to let her go back to that nightmare. Meredith knew that she never would have made it if it wasn't for Richard. Even his wife, Adele, had been there through everything. She had assisted "Mads" with Miley. Meredith was forever in Richard and Adele's debt. She'd become like a daughter to Adele and him. So, he did the only fatherly thing he could think of in this situation. He followed Sloan's lead, even after seeing how Irina made Mark "cry like a baby". Richard menacingly stood in her face, arms crossed, brows furrowed. He was going to make sure Meredith would get home alive and safe with their help. Irina was lived. They too danced around each other, until Irina grabbed his hand, twisted it behind his back, and flipped him over.

Two steps away was the beginning of the stairs… and her 3RD OBSTACLE: Dr. Miranda Bailey. Sure, she didn't know the complete, full story of what was going on, but given what had been in the press four years ago about Meredith, she knew enough. She considered herself one of Meredith's biggest fans before Meredith became her intern and before they'd ever met. It was the confidant, self-assured, and talented Meredith that Miranda Bailey had always been in awe of. Because she had looked up to the "famous Meredith" ever since she could remember, she transformed herself into "the Nazi" and stood on the top step of the stairs. There was no way that second place bitch was getting by her, at least not until Meredith made it down safely. The two women came face to face. They were so close, in fact, that their foreheads were practically pressed against one another. It took about thirty seconds for Irina to attempt to push Bailey, which as anyone could imagine, didn't go over very well. "You little stick of a coward! I know you did not just push me on purpose. Did you?" Miranda asked. There was no answer from Irina, nothing verbal at least. Her eyes flashing with pure anger, was her only response to Bailey. "Oh so you did? Huh? Well I'm just gonna have to take care of your skinny ass!" With that said, Bailey grabbed her wrist, twisted it like no one's business and knocked her to the ground. It was true, she definitely was "the Nazi".

George and Izzie were shocked. Sure they'd seen Bailey angry, but physical violence? Alex only smiled and murmured, "Yeah, you get her Bailey!"

As Irina and Bailey faced off, Richard got up off the floor and brushed himself off. Knowing what the protocol was for Meredith in this kind of situation, he headed to where she would be next.

While all this was happening, Meredith was looking around for a way to get to BIG. Looking at the ground below herself, she spotted JB, another strong and large smiling African American man in black. Grinning, she realized for about the millionth time the last 10 years or so that she was truly lucky and loved to have such an amazing team of people supporting her and backing her every move… literally. Knowing that JB would catch her, she took her ready stance.

Lexie was too busy watching her "new" sister trying to get to the main lobby below to really worry about the doctors trying to stop Irina. Afterall, she was left in the dark on this whole thing. She had no idea why anyone would want to hurt Meredith. She knew Meredith could be a bitch, but she doubted someone would want to kill her because of it. Furthermore, she had absolutely no fucking clue what Bailey had been rambling about back at the nurse's station. What did she mean, "do you know who you are"? Everything about this was so weird. Lexie only hoped that she would get to hear the explanation of it all as she realized what Meredith was going to do. "Meredith! What are you doing? Are you crazy? You'll never make it!" she yelled to her sister. The only thing was that Lexie didn't see JB, hell she didn't even know who he was or that he existed.

Meredith glanced at her sister, smiled an apologetic "forgive me" smile, and jumped of the beam. In the air Meredith did a few fancy twists and flips, before she landed in JB's arms, smiling. _"Wow, can I count on them or what?"_ she thought as she rapidly kissed him on the cheek. JB whispered something to her right before she took off towards the stairwell she often used to avoid Derek.

"Seriously? Did she seriously just do that?" Izzie asked.

"Hey there's another large man," George pointed to JB. "And look, he's wearing an earpiece as well."

She sprinted up the stairs quickly and as she reached the 1st floor, she spotted Richard waiting. In his hand was her glittery cell phone she'd given to him at the beginning of the confrontation with Irina . The same one he sent the text message to BIG on. As she was running passed him, he handed it to her like runners passing the baton to one another in a relay. Meredith mumbled her thanks and continued up the many flights of stairs.

As Meredith was reaching Richard, Irina had just started taking the stairs off the bridge to the lobby. Yes, she'd finally gotten past "the Nazi", however, it was not an easy task. Reaching the lobby, she looked every which way for Meredith until she realized where she'd gone. Like she'd been doing for the last ten minutes or so, she chased her.

After Richard saw Meredith, he ran to the group who'd been watching everything go down. There was one more thing they would want to see: Meredith finally reaching BIG. "Come on everyone! Out to the parking lot. Let's make sure she gets to safety!" he yelled as he made his way down the bridge stairs. Without question, everyone followed him. Afterall, he seemed to know what this whole thing was about.

As they were all heading outside, Meredith was still running up the stairwell. She'd just passed the 5th floor, "Only three and half more to go," she whispered to herself as she gasped for air. Her shoulder was throbbing from the bullet lodged in it. _"Thank God I'm a surgeon!" _she thought. Meredith could hear Irina a couple floors below her, trying to catch up. "Level eight," she said, "oh thank God!" Mer was tired and couldn't be more excited to get home… safely. Running up the half flight of stairs to the door that would lead her to BIG, she couldn't help but smile. Smile the biggest smile since Athens, Greece four years ago. Bursting through the door of the roof she picked up the pace, knowing that it would determine whether she lived or died. _"This better be in effect or I'm fucked and this will all be worthless."_ Luckily she trusted BIG with her life… ten times over.

Everyone was crowded in the parking lot. No one saw anything, especially Meredith. The only thing they heard was a helicopter, but they heard noisy helicopter blades whirling quite often. After all, this was a hospital.

"Hey, there's a trauma! A few of us better go check it out!" Christina said pointing to the helicopter.

"That isn't filled with a patient. That's Meredith ride!" the chief replied. "Keep your eyes on the roof! Trust me!"

All eyes were on the roof, waiting for something. No one knew exactly what. They just figured it had something to do with Meredith. What everyone found strange was that the helicopter never landed, it was lowering itself next to the roof, but a little higher than it.

"What's it doing? Why isn't it landing?" Lexie screamed, completely panicked.

"There isn't time for it to land," Richard somberly stated.

Overcome by silence as the group of hospital staff, at least most of them, realized what that meant.

Seconds later disbelief and shock rang through the group when Meredith came into view and she jumped off the roof of Seattle Grace hospital.

"Oh my God!" Lexie whispered, tears rolling down her face.

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**Thanks a bunch for reading, please hit the button and review! YOU BETTER! lol! **

--I HOPE NO ONE IS OFFENDED THAT I CHOSE THE COUNTRY RUSSIA. YOU WILL ALL REALIZE WHY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. I AM IN NO WAY BEING RUDE OR "RACIST" TO RUSSIANS. IN FACT, I'VE BEEN TO RUSSIA AND IT'S AN AWESOME PLACE!--


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own "Grey's Anatomy" or any of the characters from it. However, BIG, MO, JB, Donny, and Paul all belong to me and my imagination.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Thoughts are in italics, this time without quotes around them. I would love to know which way you find easier to read. Thanks! Also, there are 2 phone conversations in this chapter. When you see the short line of dots enclosed in quotes, that is the person on the other end of the phone speaking. Let me know if it's too confusing the way I wrote it.

In case you wanted to see what certain things look like in the secret room in Meredith's house, the one described in Chapter 2, there are some links in my profile. Check 'em out! It will really bring the room to life!

Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing. It is MUCH appreciated! Have a GREAT day!

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_**PREVIOUSLY IN CH.7**_

_Bursting through the door of the roof Meredith picked up the pace, knowing that it would determine whether she lived or died. "This better be in effect or I'm fucked and this'll all be worthless." Luckily she trusted BIG with her life… ten times over._

_Everyone was crowded in the parking lot. No one saw anything, especially Meredith. The only thing they heard was a helicopter, but they heard noisy helicopter blades whirling quite often. After all, this was a hospital. _

"_Hey, there's a trauma! A few of us better go check it out!" Christina said pointing to the helicopter._

"_That isn't filled with a patient. That's Meredith's ride!" the chief replied. "Keep your eyes on the roof! Trust me!"_

_All eyes were on the roof, waiting for something. No one knew exactly what. They just figured it had something to do with Meredith. What everyone found strange was that the helicopter never landed, it was lowering itself next to the roof, but a little higher than it._

_"What's it doing? Why isn't it landing?" Lexie screamed, completely panicked. _

"_There isn't time for it to land," Richard somberly stated._

_Overcome by silence as the group of hospital staff, at least most of them, realized what that meant._

_Seconds later disbelief and shock rang through the group when Meredith came into view and she jumped off the roof of Seattle Grace hospital._

"_Oh my God!" Lexie whispered, tears rolling down her face._

* * *

**CHAPTER 8 – May 17, 2008**

As Meredith ran full speed towards the edge of the roof facing the front of the hospital and the main parking lot, she thought of Mads and Miley. If this didn't work, she would be a splattered human pancake of shattered bones on the pavement below. What ripped her apart was that she hadn't seen either one for a couple months. Also, not getting to tell Miley how much she loved her this morning was weighing heavily on her mind.

As she neared the edge of the roof, her ride (the helicopter) got into position with the backseat door open revealing BIG. Everything was ready for her. The helicopter's skids (the long metal feet they stand on when they're on the ground) were just a bit higher than the floor of the roof as it hovered where the roof stopped. This was her only way out since Irina was relentlessly chasing her. Literally putting her life in Donny and BIG's hands, she leapt off the roof, hands high in the air reaching for the helicopter's metal feet (skids).

Everyone below was unconsciously holding their breath as they watched Meredith's crazy jump towards the white helicopter. "Oh…my….GOD Meredith!" Derek whispered as she made hand contact with the helicopter's skids.

Soaring through the air, Meredith silently prayed to make it as she felt the cold metal touch her hands. She grabbed on for dear life. Just holding her left arm above her head caused her horrible pain, but actually gripping something so tight with it was excruciating. _People aren't lying when they say bullets hurt a hell of a lot. _Before her grip on her left hand was completely solid the helicopter started to turn towards home. As it jerked, Meredith's injured left arm released the skid. She whimpered and grunted as she fought to hold on with her right hand while struggling to get her other one back in place.

Watching Meredith dangle from the metal foot of a helicopter while fighting for her life had every one of her colleagues in the parking lot 100 panicked. Some were so terrified that no sound would escape their mouths. Others said things to Meredith as if she herself could hear their encouraging words.

"Oh no!" Lexie cried.

"Come on Meredith, you can do it!" Mark said.

"Damn it Grey, you better not fall! You've been through far worse and made it through standing tall. Just add this to your list!" Bailey scolded.

"Just grab it!" the Chief said.

"Concentrate Meredith. Breathe… just breathe. You CAN make it," Christina mumbled, surprisingly calm.

"This is not good!" George muttered.

Meredith's heart pounded as she struggled to get her injured arm above her to grab the lifeline. She could feel her grip on her right hand slipping. She couldn't hold on with one hand much longer. Suddenly Miley and Mads faces flashed through her mind and she found the strength and fight to grab the skid. Finally, holding on with two hands again, the crowd below breathed a sigh of relief. All except Derek, he was the color of the hospital bed linens, white!

Before the helicopter made a move to fly away, BIG dropped the rope ladder down to Meredith. Carefully she hooked and tangled her legs in it so that if her hands slipped off the metal skid she'd at least still be hanging on to something and not spattered and dead on the cement below. Satisfied that her legs were secure, she reluctantly reached over with her left hand and grabbed the ladder. Once she had one hand on the ladder, she knew she was out of harm's way… this time. Meredith easily placed her right hand next to her left. Before climbing up, she took a few seconds to relax and get her heart rate down. Two strong arms reached for Meredith and pulled her inside once she'd climbed to the top of the ladder.

Seeing Meredith safely inside the helicopter with the door closed, Derek leaned over and puked. He had been absolutely terrified that he'd lose her. All he saw while she fought to get in the helicopter was her wet, blue, lifeless face when he'd pulled her from the water. That image still haunted him. Bent over, hands on his knees, he spit a few times and took deep calming breaths in hopes of soothing his churning stomach.

"You alright Derek?" Mark was at his side, hand resting on Derek's hunched over back.

"I don't know," he truthfully replied. He really had no idea if he was okay. His mind was too jumbled and confused with everything that had occurred in the last 15 minutes or so.

"She's okay now. Trust me. She's with BIG, he'd die to protect her," the chief added, joining their conversation.

"BIG? Who are you talking about? **I'D** die to protect her," Derek snapped, emphasizing "I'D". After a few more calming breaths he looked Richard in the eyes, face tense, and eyes serious. "What the hell is going on? I want some answers for God's sake!"

"It's not my place to tell you. It's Meredith's," the chief said to him.

"Yeah right! I'd have a better shot of Doc, our dead dog, filling me in than Meredith!" He angrily spat out. "I mean I know I've made some mistakes when it comes to her, but I've done my best to make amends. Why does she not trust me?"

At this point her friends, Christina, Izzie, George, and Alex, and her half sister, Lexie, had joined the Chief, Mark, and Derek to listen to what was being said. They too wanted answers and hoped Dr. Webber would be handing them out.

"I'd be shocked if she did trust you or anyone after everything she's been through. She has her reasons and trust me, if anyone of you were her and had gone through what she has, you wouldn't trust easily either," Richard responded.

"Yeah, we all know she has 'Daddy issues'," Christina angrily said.

"Don't forget 'mommy issues' too," Izzie interrupted her, earning a death glare from Christina.

"Right. As I was saying, we all know she has 'parent issues', but how can that cause a COMPLETE lack of trust? Especially with me? I thought we told each other everything," Christina obviously felt not only hurt, but betrayed as well.

"That's not it," Mark said. Now it was Derek's turn to send a death glare.

"Oh and of course you know about it. It wasn't enough for you to sleep with Addison while we were still married, but now you have my girlfr…" he stopped, looking over at Rose, "you have Meredith's trust. What else are you gonna take from me?"

"Buddy, you have no idea what this is about. This has nothing to do with you. I'd met…" Mark tried to explain. Before he could get "met" all the way out, Richard grabbed his arm in an attempt to stop him.

"Dr. Sloan. It isn't your place to explain," Richard said, eyes locked with Mark's.

* * *

With tears in her eyes, Meredith groaned as she looked out of the helicopter's window at her friends and colleagues. She was just now realizing that everyone had witnessed her getting shot and her MIRACULOUS escape. Hearing her groan, a large muscled arm wrapped itself around her shoulders, pulling her close. With that small gesture from BIG, she felt safe. Not just in the physical sense, but the emotional one as well. It started as a few tears, but she quickly found herself sobbing in BIG's shoulder.

"Nothing's gonna happen to you Bear. You're safe. You're going to stay that way. I promise!" Big tried to comfort her, but her cries only got louder.

"It's not just that Big," she said through tears.

"Then what?"

"My friends, they're never going to forgive me. I've lied to them. I lied to Derek. They're never gonna wanna speak to me again! Especially Derek and Christina!" she was crying so hard that she was having trouble breathing. It was similar to the time she'd had to disconnect that elderly woman from life support. Afterwards she'd hid in the supply closet hysterically crying. It was Derek that found her and calmed her down… well after having to breath in a paper bag. Just thinking about the incident made the sobbing worsen as she realized they'd probably never share that kind of moment again. Getting worried about her, Big grabbed a small bag, normally used for airsickness, and held it against Mer's mouth.

Once her sobbing was reduced to sniffles and slight hiccups, Big reached for his cell phone attached to his belt, "I better touch base with the boys."

Dialing a number and holding the phone to his ear, he waited for the person to pick up. Once he heard the voice answer he started talking, "Hi."

"……"

"Goldilocks is secure."

"……"

"I think we're heading to the compound. I'll let you know if the plan changes. Why don't you…" Big was interrupted by Meredith grabbing the phone.

"Hey Mo! Thank you so much! I want you and JB to bring all my friends to the compound. I have to attempt to explain. Take them to get packed first."

"……"

"Who exactly? Bring Lexie, Christina, Izzie, George, Alex, Dr. Bailey, oh and her baby, Dr. Sloan, Richard and Adele, Callie, Dr. Hahn, and um… Derek. I guess bring Rose too. I don't want her to think I'm trying to steal him back."

"……"

"There's enough room at the compound."

"……"

"Okay, thanks Mo! You're the best!"

"……"

"Oh wait, one more thing,"

"……"

"Tell Richard, Mark, and Bailey they're gonna need to bring some medical supplies including stuff to remove the bullet and sew me up," she said glancing at her throbbing shoulder. "Alright, see you soon. Bye!"

Meredith hung the phone up and handed it to Big. "Oh don't worry S squared, I was done," Big joked with her causing a small smile to grace her face.

"So home, sweet, home, here we come!" Meredith excitedly yelled, her smile growing.

Before Big could reply, his cell rang. "Hello?"

"……"

Glancing at Meredith, he mouthed the word 'Paul' to her. "Yeah, we're en route to the compound."

"……"

"Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea, she's injured." Meredith hit his arm to get his attention and whispered, "Don't tell him I've been shot."

"……"

He debated not listening to Meredith and telling Paul the truth, but he didn't. "Um, just a scratch," he glared at Meredith, "so, where do you want us to meet you guys?"

"……"

"L.A.? Alright, we're on our way! We'll see you in an hour and a half, maybe longer." With that, Big hung up the phone, replacing it to its holder on his belt.

"I take it, he wants to see me?" Meredith asked.

"Not just him. A few members of the committee and some others as well," he eyed Mer. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Of course. By the time I get back, everyone should be at the house. It'll be perfect timing!" she smiled, but he could read her like a book. She was scared and hesitant about the meeting.

"It'll be ok. I'll be right there with you," he grabbed her hand. Big tapped the helicopter pilot on the shoulder, "Well Donny, we're going to make a quick stop in Los Angeles, then we're going home!"

* * *

Meanwhile at Seattle Grace, Mo hung up his cell and called to Dr. Webber. He relayed Meredith's request to the Chief. After a quick hushed conversation, they both walked over to the group who had migrated to the benches in front of Seattle Grace. They were all caught up discussing what they'd just witnessed. Everyone quieted as the chief cleared his throat to get their attention.

"I need Grey, Yang, O'Malley, Stevens, Karev, Dr. Torres, Dr. Hahn, Dr. Sloan, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Shepard, and Rose to all stay. Everyone else go back to work!" the chief ordered. Once the others had left, leaving only the chosen few standing in front of him, he began. "Meredith is just fine." This one sentence sent a series of questions flying his way. Holding up his hand for silence, he continued, "You will each be accompanied by one of these nice gentlemen," he pointed to a group of five men dressed in black standing with Mo. " They will take you home and wait as you gather a suitcase. Plan to be gone at least five days, maybe more. Once you are packed they will be driving us to a secure location where you can all see and speak to Meredith."

They all questioningly glanced around at each other, now more confused than before. "A secure location?" Lexie asked worriedly. "What does that mean?"

"Don't worry. You all will be safe. There won't be anymore incidents like the one you just witnessed," Richard assured them. "Meredith wants to explain everything to you."

"What if we don't want her explanation?" Christina snapped.

"Then you will no longer work for this hospital. Let me make myself clear, this is NOT voluntary. It is required. And believe me, once you're there, you won't regret it," Richard ordered.

"What about the hospital and all the surgeries? How can we all just pack up and leave at the same time?" Callie asked.

"Last time I checked, I was the Chief. So, none of you have anything to worry about. It will all be taken care of."

They had no choice but to go home and pack. They had to go. Afterall, no one wanted to lose their jobs.

"Dr. Bailey, Dr. Torres, Dr. Sloan, and Dr. Shepard will remain while everyone else starts packing," the chief instructed.

Now alone with the four doctors, "Here's what I need. I need you to all get medical and surgical supplies. We will be removing a bullet there, so we'll also need antibiotics and other various medications. Derek, you will bring everything you'd need to treat someone with severe nerve damage and nerve pain, that includes heavy narcotic pain killers, both pill form and IV form. Sloan, you know what you need. Do you all understand?"

"Yes sir," Bailey answered.

"Meredith was shot in the shoulder, how does that involve me?" Derek asked him.

"We will need you the most," the chief solemnly told him. "Don't ask anymore questions, just do it!"

With that they headed to the hospital to get everything they'd need. Before Dr. Bailey could get too far, Richard yelled, "You've been told to bring your son, Tuck. Don't worry about a crib or play pen. Everything you'll need besides clothes and any kind of formula, will already be there."

Confused as to why Meredith would have a crib or any kind of baby paraphenilia, Dr. Bailey said, "Alright, if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Both headed off to get what was needed for Meredith and the trip.

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